We are so thankful for all the support we have received since Paul's death Tuesday. His obituary will be published Sunday in the San Jose Mercury News and in the Kansas City Star. I am thankful Michelle, Bo and Grey got in yesterday from London and Ralf today from Dubai. Michelle got to view her father yesterday before arrangements were made. We plan to fly out Saturday for a service in Winchester, Kansas at the Reformed Presbyterian Church on Monday, November 12th at 11 a.m. with the ashes interned in the adjoining church cemetery. We are hoping all of Paul's siblings and many family and friends will be able to get in and we ask prayer for travel mercies and all arrangements to be guided by our Lord. We hope to return Tuesday evening.
A memorial service for friends and family will be held in California on Thursday, November 15th at 2:00 PM at the Menlo Park Presbyterian Church. Our church is located at 950 Santa Cruz Avenue, Menlo Park, CA 94025.
In lieu of flowers, we are asking that any Memorial donations be sent to the Albanian Health Fund, P.O.Box 63, Saratoga, CA 95071-0063 ( www.albanianhealthfund.org ).
Thank you again for your love and support to Paul during these past months.
In Christ's love, Bonnie.
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9 comments:
“Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints” Psalm 116:15
Bonnie- thank you. Your enduring Faith and Love evoke awe.
pH- we are grateful for having you in our lives and for your ability to lead with clarity and humbleness.
thanks for lessons and "being able to sleep when the wind blows"
Bonnie, Drew, Michelle, and all your extended family,
Sin and death came into this world through a look Gen. 3:6, and the only deliverance from sin and eterrnal death is by a look of faith: "Look to Me, and be saved, all you ends of the earth" Isa. 45:22.
Our Heavenly Father placed me across the street from Paul and Bonnie on Allardice Way in 1984 so that I might be saved for the glory of God, through Christ Jesus. As Paul and Bonnie faithfully prayed and witnessed to me, often standing in our gardens, God revealed the darkness that was in me and how ungrateful I was for his sacrificial death to close the gap between a holy God and a sinner like myself. You were the evangelists who brought the message of hope and eternal life through Jesus to have real meaning in my life. You were the instruments of His grace that awakened my desire to know Him, through His Son and to experience the "new birth". Paul and Bonnie, you traveled the world proclaiming his message, but you also remembered to proclaim Jesus to your neighbors. To God be the glory for the great things He has done.
Our God is a Multiplier, and through your witness, His kingdom has been multiplied. Just as there were many witnesses to His death, burial and resurrection, Paul and Bonnie are evidence that we can know Jesus and the power of His resurrection Today. Jesus said, "Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves." He graced me with the faith to look to Him and be saved and I know that was an answer to your prayers.
Paul and Bonnie have been spiritual parents to me and I give Jesus all the glory and honor for what great things He has done through you, as His faithful servants.
I will miss seeing Paul, tirelessly working at home and in the mission field. He was a great inspiration to me.
Bonnie and family,
I'm heartbroken at the news, I can't imagine Paul being gone. But when I remember others who've suffered through the journey of cancer, I'm thankful to God that Paul's journey allowed him time with family while not having to endure long, drawn out suffering. What a joy it will also be when we see him again, this man who taught us all so much both in word and in deed. God be with you. Much love, Caroline & family
Bonnie,
My heart breaks for you and your family. Paul will be sorely missed.
However, Paul did so much for the Lord and for people that I'm sure they are rejoicing in heaven at his arrival.
May the Lord keep you warm and at peace. There are a lot of people who will be there for you whenever you need it. I being one - at any time.
Much Love,
Pat
With Paul being gone, a part of me is also gone. Sometimes when I woke up in the morning, I still feel that this is so unreal. I still remember chatting with him early this year and he looked so fine to me. I have been weeping and my heart is still very heavy. I don't really understand God's logic behind all this. What kind of good things can come out after so many people's hearts are broken? I am sure there could have been a thousand other ways out but why did it have to end like this ? Why Paul ? I am still trying to make some sense out of this tragedy. Paul, I will have so many questions to ask God when we meet again.
Dear Bonnie,
As Pastor John delivered Paul's return to his Father during service today, I could not believe it until now.
Paul's smile, wise eyes and humble hearts are unforgettable in my heart forever. He is still alive in me.
I deeply thank our Lord to bring Paul and you into my life at mppc, taking journey in this world together under His love, grace and guidance.
Thank you, Paul and Bonnie, for everything you have done and you have shown to me. Please remember that you and your family are in my prayers in this time.
In His love,
Na Young Kim & family
Paul’s blessing:
You prayed that
“we would make wise decisions,
and that our trust
in God’s will for us
would prevail and be apparent
to all around us.”
And so you did.
You showed us how to live:
“I am able to get plenty of sleep,
eat well, and enjoy every day!”
“We have crosses
to bear every day.
But I have learned
how to enjoy
the bitterest of them…”
“…in this exile
of cancer treatment,
I’m so thankful
for God’s promises –
not to mention
the prayers from so many of you.”
“…in this world
you will have trouble…
but I have overcome.”
“How thankful we are
for His peace,
and thankful
for your supporting prayers
for us.”
You asked:
“Can you sleep
when the wind blows
through your life?”
“How true it is
that we would like
to be in complete control
of our life and destiny,
while our real responsibility
is to know the good
we ought to do
– and do it.”
“We do recount
all of God’s blessings
and are so thankful.
May you claim His Presence also
during your times of trial.”
Thanks, Paul, for showing us how to live.
- Bob Buyers
Paul’s blog, and blessing
#1 Monday, April 30, 2007
Hello,
Just checking out
if this works well
for family and friends
to keep up on the news
concerning my health.
And you can know how
to be praying
for Bonnie and me
day by day.
#2 Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Recent history of pancreas mass
Hello friends and family,
Blogging is new to me,
so bear with me…
A blog seems impersonal,
but with hundreds of praying friends,
as much as I love to hear from you,
I simply can’t keep up.
Since February
I’ve been experiencing
recurrent pains. At first
I thought it was a mid back strain
from some shovel and wheelbarrow work…
A few days later
the tumor marker was elevated …
neither of these is 100% accurate
in diagnosing carcinoma…
On this Friday, May 4,
I’ll be seeing the oncology surgeon
and rely on his expertise and advice…
My prayer is that he can quickly
schedule me for biopsy and surgery
if feasible…
So Bonnie and I
are learning about patience and endurance.
Some of you have asked
if we are not overwhelmed with worry.
We are not.
Daily readings from the Bible
buoyed us up with God’s promises.
…we have been loved
and prayed for by hundreds
and we have been uplifted
emotionally and spiritually.
…after an intense day of prayer
with laying on of hands last Tuesday,
I have been free of the pain
that was keeping me awake…
Worry has not been part of this
in the last two weeks. I know
that my days and my work
are in God’s hands
and my worry is not going to add
anything to either my days
or my productivity! Long ago I surrendered
my life to Him…
This morning I read
II Peter 1:5-9 which reminded me
what I need to be about these days:
“So don’t lose a minute
in building on what you’ve been given,
continue complementing your basic faith
with good character, spiritual understanding,
alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder,
warm friendliness, and generous love, with each dimension
fitting into and developing the others.
With these qualities active and growing in your lives,
no grass will grow under your feet,
no day will pass without its reward
as you mature in your experience
of our Master Jesus.”
Thank you for continuing prayer
for accurate diagnosis and treatment,
the right time for biopsy/surgery,
that the mass will be benign,
for His perfect healing,
and in all, that God will be glorified.
#3 Friday, May 4, 2007
Post Surgery- Oncologist's visit
Hello to all, May 4th, 2007
I have some disappointing news:
the appearance of the CT
is most probably pancreatic carcinoma
and it is not resectable.
the doctor recommended chemo
for 2-3 months followed
by a targeted radiation treatment
and then more chemo.
All of this requires our primary provider
to approve, so please pray
for the plans of our "expert" to be facilitated.
While this is not the news we were hoping for,
we know that God is in control of all parts of life . . .
We are expecting family
to arrive from London in a few hours…
What a blessing
that we can share some tears
and lots of hugs as we continue
to pray for deliverance.
Today we received the same Word
in four different places:
so God is upholding us. Romans 15:13 says
"May the God of hope
fill you with all joy and peace
as you trust in Him, so that
you may overflow with hope
by the power of the Holy Spirit."
#4 Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Tuesday May 8th report
The Hensleigh house
was bursting at the seams
for the weekend… it was such a treat
to have families with us. We all had a great time
– with one exception: Grey, our 3 year old grandson
from London took a fall from my horse, and suffered
a compaction fracture of the right humerus (arm).
The orthopedist pronounced this to be a minor injury…
Once again we are thankful
for God’s protection
from larger calamity
despite our careless moments.
We hope to be able to choose
a course of treatment
by the end of tomorrow.
And there may need some negotiation
for authorization by our HMO provider…
we continue to ask for your prayers
that we would make wise decisions
and that our trust in God’s will for us
would prevail
and be apparent to all around us.
On the back of my business card
is a version of Ps 20:7,
“Some trust in chariots
and some trust in horses,
but we trust in the Lord our God.”
Guess you can see where we get
when we trust the horses!
Posted by Paul Hensleigh at 4:32 PM
#5 Thursday, May 10, 2007
Thursday update.
We are so thankful
that we could talk with so many
expert physicians this week…
The approvals and authorizations
are still in the hands
of the provider of my insurance…
Just pray that God’s hand
would be on the whole process…
#6 Friday, May 11, 2007
I’m golden! And Authorized….
…the GI endo biopsy
and placement of gold seeds
was totally uneventful.
I remember nothing of the procedure…
Peace I leave you;
my peace I give you.
I do not give to you
as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled
and do not be afraid.
Jn 14:27
#7 Thursday, May 17, 2007
Ready for chemo...
Bonnie and I have loved
the outpouring of prayers,
cards, notes, calls, blog responses,
and especially extra time with our family
during the last couple of weeks.
We have been on the receiving end
of hugs and good wishes
which have kept us on a high plain
emotionally and spiritually
despite mostly bad news
from my cancer work-up.
In response to “How are we doing?”,
one friend reminded me yesterday
of the story “I can sleep when the wind blows”.
and it just reminds us
once again that all of us
need to be prepared
for the “bumps in the night”
I do have some glimmer of good news:
there is no evidence of spread
of the pancreatic carcinoma
beyond the central egg sized mass.
My first choice for radiation
is dependent on yet another authorization
by my insurance company and provider…
Meanwhile
I am feeling pretty well
much of the time
and take Tylenol pretty regularly
in order to function
and sleep without pain.
PET scans are a special form of torture
where the subject has hold still for 30 minutes
with your arms above your head
– an interval that seems like hours,
during which you can debate
whether the back pain
or the shoulder pain is number one!
Oh, did I mention
that there is a follow-up scan
to evaluate the response to treatment?
The prep is 8 hours of nothing by mouth,
so I begin to yearn
for injectable Tylenol.
I can sleep when the wind blows.
When you're prepared spiritually,
mentally, and physically,
you have nothing to fear.
Can you sleep
when the wind blows
through your life?
The hired hand in the story
was able to sleep
because he had secured the farm
against the storm.
We as believers
in Christ secure ourselves
against the storms of life
by grounding ourselves
in the Word of God.
We don't need to understand.
We just need to hold His hand
to have peace
in the midst of the storms.
I hope you sleep well!!
May you always have
LOVE to share,
HEALTH to spare and
FRIENDS that care
#8 Thursday, May 24, 2007
"Joy is a choice..."
A number of people ask me every day,
“How are you doing?”
Side effects of the chemo,
are minimal, so I didn’t feel bad
after the first dose.
And I only have to go in for chemo
once a week for an hour or so.
Today I prepared an appeal letter
for my insurance company
who denied authorization…
Those of you who see me
can see that I’m doing quite well.
I have been able to keep up with most
of the usual meetings and volunteer work
that has occupied my days in recent years.
I have experienced some recurrence
of back/abdominal/visceral pain and
despite taking regular Tylenol,
I wake every few hours
needing to change position
or take more pills.
But I am able to get plenty of sleep,
eat well, and enjoy every day!
About the pain,
I’m reminded of a quote
by Tim Hansel in his book,
You Gotta Keep Dancin':
“in the Midst of Life's Hurts,
You Can Choose Joy!
Joy is a choice
—pain in is inevitable,
but misery is optional.
We cannot avoid pain,
but we can avoid joy.
God has given us
such immense freedom
that He allows us
to be as miserable
as we want to be.”
#9
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Living by Faith
“ We don’t retreat, we just reload!”
I completed the second infusion
of Gemzar on Tuesday and in addition
to the recurrent “pancreas pain”
I have noticed some fatigue.
I was up at the usual 05:30
and attended rounds this morning,
came home and did carpentry
constructing a storage shed
– but then took a 3 hour nap this afternoon.
Those of you who know my habits
will understand that naps
are not part of my usual routine.
Makoto’s family
wanted to come here for a vacation,
but he just wanted to come and see me
– a great friendship renewed.
He had followed my career via the internet
and had lots of questions about my retirement career
in third world obstetrics.
Thanks to our friend, Bonnie and I
have been reading the devotionals
of the 17th century Catholic mystic,
Francois de Salignac de La Mothe Fenelon,
the Archbishop of Cambrai, France –
a spiritual advisor
in the court of Louis the Fourteenth.
This one from yesterday resonated with my day…
Living by the Cross and by Faith
We have crosses to bear everyday.
But I have learned to enjoy the bitterest of them.
And it is sweet to know that the heaviest cross
can be borne in peace. However, there may be times
when it seems that you do not have the strength
even to bear it or to drag it. All you can do
is fall down beneath it, overwhelmed and exhausted.
I pray that God may spare you as much as possible
in proportioning your suffering,
not that God delights in seeing us suffer,
but He knows that we need this
as much as we need our daily bread.
And only God knows how much we need
to accomplish His purposes in our lives.
So what we must do is live by faith
and live by the cross.
For we are confident that God,
with His true compassion,
proportions our trials to the amount of strength
that He has committed to us within.
Even though we cannot actually see this happening,
yet we believe it is true.
Trial and strength
are portioned out in equal measures.
Living by this kind of faith
demands the deepest kind of death
to self.
I continue to get official calls
that my authorization is being denied
and again appealed…
#10 Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Good Kansas Visit
Both Bonnie and I had opportunities
for 50th high school reunions this year.
Mine was at the time of my cancer workup,
so we had to cancel the trip
for the Winchester (KS) alumni banquet and reunion,
but we did get to attend Bonnie’s class reunion.
About 20 of the 23 surviving members…
And Sunday we attended the St Mark’s Lutheran Church
where Bonnie was confirmed.
Would you believe Rev Davis
delivered a fitting sermon on healing!
Returning to the land of our roots
at a beautiful time of year
and seeing friends of 50+ years
plus lots of family members
made for a great 6 day vacation.
We are always struck
by the wholesome authenticity of life
in rural Kansas – where friends neighbors
and entire communities are so supportive.
… at the end of 6 days it was also good
to be back home . . . an easier place to cope
when one is not quite feeling up to par!
Today I had my 4th chemo treatment.
However, the denials of authorization
for the radiation treatment (and appeals) go on.
I’m not sure where this will end . . .
My pancreas pain seems less intense
and less frequent now
and I’ve been able to cut back on Vicodan
and get away from some of its adverse effects.
So, thankfully, the last couple of days
I have been feeling pretty normal
most of the time.
I had a horse accident a week ago… a few days later
I began having red strobe light flashings
when I would move my head in the night.
Some years ago I carried Jeremiah 29:11
on the back of my personal business card.
Today I read :
”This is God’s word on the subject…
(God’s people in exile in Babylon)
“I’ll show up and take care of you
as I promised and bring you back home.
I know what I’m doing.
I have it all planned out –
plans to take care of you,
not abandon you,
plans to give you
the future you hope for.”
In this exile of cancer treatment,
I’m so thankful for God’s promises –
not to mention the prayers of so many of you.
Thankful indeed!
##11 Friday, June 22, 2007
Stereotactic Radiosurgery (Trilogy) scheduled
How quickly a week passes –
and this was a full one.
I had my 3rd NPO day
and finally got successfully scanned!
And people wonder why
there is weight loss associated with this cancer!
And I am still able to eat normal meals,
just in smaller portions. And in spite
of spending lots of hours in the clinic and hospital,
I am keeping up with most of the regular meetings,
hospital rounds, though still sleeping lots more than usual.
The chemo schedule is interrupted for 4 weeks
in order to have radiation without excessive side effects.
And thankfully the pain intensity and frequency
continues to diminish. My medical oncologist attributes
the improvement to the chemo,
I just know
it’s an answer the prayers of many.
The final stage of appeal
for the insurance to pay for my treatment
is a hearing by an Administrative Law Judge…
We are praying for God’s intervention is this
because we feel that we and future patients
with similar needs deserve this treatment
when it is preferred. The radiation oncologist
says I just got the cancer 10 years too soon!
Thanks again
for keeping us in prayer for the hearing,
as well as that the radiation will be guided by God
and accurate in destroying the cancer cells
yet not harming any of the surrounding organs or blood vessels.
#12 Thursday, June 28, 2007
Smooth sailing with Trilogy
Radiation therapy was completed this afternoon.
Besides being highly effective,
I wanted this mode of radiation
because it all happens at one setting
and there are minimal side effects.
The most difficult part
is that you have to hold still in one position
(the dreaded hands over the head routine)
for an hour or two – or more…
News about my appeal
is still pending.
With this week behind us, we are looking forward
to having several of our family members
arrive for the family reunions coming up next week.
After the 4th , we will all be gathering
to remember our family heritage
and bond with the current generation.
What a blessing we have,
especially the Christian heritage
of our forefathers and mothers.
Just now I recall the inscription
on the grave marker of my grandmother,
Ida Curry Hensleigh,
“ I know that my Redeemer liveth…”
Job 19;23.
As we come together
at the time of our country’s Independence Day,
we indeed have so many blessings,
and so much we owe to those who came before us.
While we know
the dire percentage of pancreatic healings,
we claim John 16:33 in which Jesus says,
“I have told you all these things
so that in Me you may have peace;
In this world you will have trouble.
But take heart,
I have overcome the world.”
So many friends have puzzled
about why God would allow
such an ugly cancer to afflict a ‘good’ person
like me, who has given so much time
and effort to help the disadvantaged women
of the world. “ ..in this world
you will have trouble…but I have overcome”.
How thankful we are for His peace
and thankful for your supporting prayers for us….
Posted by Paul Hensleigh at 9:32 PM 4 comments
#13 Saturday, July 14, 2007
Summer Blessings
Good news
is that the family reunion
was a wonderful event!
All of our immediate family members
and more than 100 total came
for the Curry family reunion
which was last held 5 years ago.
I am so delighted to be relieved
from the abdominal pain
that was so bothersome
just a few weeks ago.
The response to treatment
has been beyond my expectations
with regard to the pain – in fact
I have needed no pain medicine
for the last few days.
The pain began to subside
soon after I started chemo, six weeks ago
and has steadily diminished.
My appetite and food tolerance
also is improving. However, my energy
is diminished and I need to rest much more, with long naps.
Bonnie and I were honored
at the ob-gyn resident’s annual graduation banquet.
Bonnie had been in consort
with the organizers and they displayed pictures
from my lifetime – even before medicine –
as they honored me with a
“Lifetime Exceptional Achievement Award.”
I’m so thankful that God
has used chemo and radiation
to make me feel better –
not exactly the usual outcome
one hears about with these treatments.
On the down side,
the news from the Administrative Law Judge
was not in my favor regarding the insurance payment
… I don’t want this to dominate my life for a long period of time.
I close by sharing a story
in today’s devotional by Bishop Jerry Macklin.
Bishop has become a compatriot and good friend
as we have co-chaired the Barnabas Project
over the last couple of years. Through this project
we have developed and provided leadership support
and enrichment programs for about
25 ethnic churches in the Bay Area.
“During the third century,
when St. Felix of Nola was running from his enemies,
he took refuge in a cave.
Eventually a spider began to weave a web
across the small opening, sealing it off
and making it look like nobody had been inside for months.
As a result his pursuers passed by
and didn’t bother looking there.
Later, stepping out into the sunshine,
Felix declared, ‘Where God is, a spider’s web is a wall.
And where He isn’t, a wall is but a spider’s web.’
Jesus said you’d have problems on earth;
people will disappoint you,
and you’ll disappoint yourself.
Sometimes you’ll end up in a cave
because of something your did,
other times because of circumstances
you’ve no control over.
But God is with you either way.
And like Paul said,
‘With God on our side…how can we lose?’
“Be at rest once more,
for the Lord has been good to you!”
Psalm 116.7
Posted by Paul Hensleigh at 10:24 AM
#14 Thursday, July 26, 2007
Frequently asked questions!
“How am I doing?”
The last couple of weeks I have been feeling well.
I have not needed any pain medication
and other than sleeping longer nights
and taking regular afternoon naps,
my routine is pretty normal.
Yesterday I exercised Jackson, my horse,
for over an hour and then came home
and ran the chain saw in the yard for a couple of hours
So this improvement in my quality of life
is a welcomed answer to the prayers of many –
hardly a day goes by without my hearing
of yet another person or group
who are holding me up in prayer.
And I continue to have opportunities
to encourage and comfort
other cancer victims as well.
In our Saturday morning Menlo Mens’ Bible Class,
John Jenks has mentioned how God comforts us
when we have troubles, and this prepares us
to share this comfort with others
who have similar woes (II Cor 1:3-5).
I noticed by the notes
in the margin of my Bible
that Walt Gerber preached on this passage
in 1991 and 1996. His bottom line:
“God
does not give us comfort
to make us comfortable,
but to make us a good comforter.”
From a medical point of view
I am coming up to six months
since the onset of symptoms (pain)
from the pancreatic cancer –
about half of people with pancreatic cancer
die within that first six months!
…about half of the patients
with inoperable pancreatic cancer
have experienced recurrences
or spread of cancer within six months.
And despite treatments, overall,
only 4% of patients with pancreatic cancer
survive beyond 5 years.
Despite these ominous statistics
there are some other opinions!
The word on the street
(neighborhood doctors of Allardice Way)
is that I look healthy, eat healthy,
have my glass of red wine daily,
and exercise – so I should make
it for “five to ten years”.
My personal view
is that I’m really blessed
to be feeling so much better
and my primary concern is living well
as long as possible.
Some weeks ago I quoted Al Weir
regarding medical news
that shatters your dreams:
“At that point we will have a choice:
will we overcome and live life fully,
or will we whimper
through the rest of our existence
until death:
I believe
that God did not create us
to give up life
before He rings the bell.
God created us
to be overcomers.”
Amen Al,
thanks for the good word.
A scripture that comes to mind
is James 4:13-17”
Now listen, you who say,
"Today or tomorrow
we will go to this or that city,
spend a year there,
carry on business and make money."
Why, you do not even know
what will happen tomorrow.
What is your life?
You are a mist
that appears for a little while
and then vanishes.
Instead, you ought to say,
"If it is the Lord's will,
we will live and do this or that."
As it is, you boast and brag.
All such boasting is evil.
Anyone, then, who knows the good
he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.
How true it is
that we would like
to be in complete control
of our life and destiny,
while our real responsibility
is to know the good
we ought to do – and do it.
Posted by Paul Hensleigh at 11:37 AM
#15 Thursday, August 9, 2007
SIX WEEK FOLLOW-UP
The timing has been six weeks
since the radiation treatment was given
and 12 weeks since the chemotherapy began,
not to mention it’s 16 weeks
since many of you joined in prayer
for healing of my cancer.
The response to treatment
are very favorable – as good
as could be expected.
This goes along with my feeling better,
both in terms of being pain free
and also increasing restoration of energy.
So I am still taking naps on most
but not all days, and my productive hours
are expanding. And I’ve once again begun
to bounce out of bed at 5am
feeling ready for a full day.
The medical opinion
is that this is as good a response
as one could reasonably expect,
and the plan is to continue chemo
at least as long
as my bone marrow can tolerate it,
…the primary tumor has about half the uptake
that was seen just before radiation.
Praise the Lord!
Otherwise, life if full
and includes many blessings
besides my medical improvements.
Last weekend we attended
the Albania Health Fund Board meeting
to discuss the work that God
has called us to in Albania.
Some of you have expressed surprise
that I was elected president
of the Albania Health Fund Board.
The Board has been discussing
whether that should be 3 or 4 years –
and so far as I’m concerned
a 3 or 4 year cancer remission
would be a welcomed gift from God
and I’d love to spend that time
carrying on the work
of those who have gone before.
Many of you know
that I have been the outfitter and cook
for a group of women horse fanciers
for the last several years.
In light of my treatments and associated fatigue,
I bowed out of that one a couple of months ago.
Tent camping was on my mind this week
as I was reading a part
of Dave and Jan Dravecky’s book,
“Do Not Lose Heart”.
He was speaking of the Bible passage
in II Corinthians, chapter 5
which refers to our bodies as being like a tent –
such as in mountain camping.
Our bodies are likened
to an imperfect and temporary dwelling.
(Glad to hear from my doctors
that my body may last longer
than at first they expected!)
To give you the gist of the passage,
I quote from the Message by Peterson…
“So we’re not giving up. How could we!
Even though on the outside it often looks
like things are falling apart on us, on the inside,
where God is making new life, not a day goes by
without his unfolding grace. These hard times
are small potatoes compared to the coming good times,
the lavish celebration prepared for us.
There’s far more here than meets the eye.
The things we see now are here today,
gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now
will last forever.
For instance, we know
that when these bodies of ours
are taken down like tents and folded away,
they will be replaced by resurrection bodies in heaven
– God-made, not hand made – and we’ll never
have to relocate our ‘tents’ again.
Sometimes we can hardly wait to move
– so that we cry out in frustration.
Compared to what’s coming,
living conditions around here seem like a stopover
in an unfurnished shack, and we’re tired of it!
We’ve been given a glimpse of the real thing,
our true home, our resurrection bodies!
The Spirit of God whets our appetite
by giving us a taste of what’s ahead.
He puts a little of heaven in our hearts
so that we’ll never settle for less.”
So while I do miss being in the mountains,
and I am thinking of my friends
in the unfurnished shacks and tents,
which are so familiar,
don’t forget the best is yet to come!
And hopefully I’ll be able to join you
on the horse pack trip next August – tent dwelling and all.
My life in recent weeks
has been filled with reunions,
family gatherings, graduations
and all kinds of opportunities to enjoy
family and friends.
How thankful I am despite my cancer
to be able to fully partake
in these many special events!
Again, thank you for continued prayer
and the encouraging cards and calls –
each day is a gift from the Lord
to which you contribute.
Posted by Paul Hensleigh at 5:07 PM
#16 Friday, September 7, 2007
SOME BUMPS ALONG THE WAY……
When I last reported on my status,
I was feeling pain-free
without taking any medicine for pain.
For the last couple of weeks
I’ve had some abdominal pains
after I eat
and particularly when I lay down
…in aching pain.
We’re not quite sure why
this is occurring – waiting to see what evolves.
The other adverse effect
of the abdominal pain is on my appetite –
I frequently have trouble
thinking of anything good to eat!
On the positive side,
my bone marrow continues to recover…
And so far it is reducing my cancer cells.
And in the course of squatting down
to keep Jackson’s hoof in the hot Epson salts,
I now have a sore lumbar spine –
makes me walk like Grandpa Wheeler!
It’s also a reminder
to be more faithful with my exercise routine.
Another very moving experience this week
was the celebration/graduation dinner
for my class of ruling elders at Menlo Park Pres.
We meet weekly with the pastoral staff,
usually for an hour at 06:30 am
to deal with the business of the church
and to pray for common and personal concerns.
With all the personal events
of our family in the last 3 years,
I have been the recipient of very frequent
and fervent prayer by this group…
In the course of these weekly meetings,
we become very appreciative
of each persons gifts and service
and of course good friends!
As our senior pastor aptly summarized
our graduation event, “It made me grateful
for the laughter and fun and
for such a remarkable collection of hearts
and stories and evident work of God
in so many lives and gifts and burdens and journeys.”
Well said, indeed!
In Lloyd Ogilivie’s GOD’S BEST FOR YOUR LIFE,
he used Psalm 40 in this morning’s devotion
which was so encouraging.
“I waited patiently for the Lord;
He turned to me and heard my cry,
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
He set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the Lord.
Blessed is the man
who makes the Lord his trust,
who does not look to the proud,
to those who turn aside to false gods.
Many, O Lord my God,
are the wonders you have done.
The things you planned for us
no one can recount to you.
Were I to speak and tell of them,
they would be too many to declare.”
We do recount all of God’s blessings
and are so thankful.
May you claim His Presence also
during your times of trials.
#17 Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Hope for tomorrow...
During my long absence from the blog,
we have had lots of activity
but not much has changed
with my treatment or response.
That’s not all bad: this week
I had a recheck on the tumor marker
and it was less than half the level
of three weeks before!
It’s a real answer to prayer
that I am able to continue chemo after 16 weeks
and that my bone marrow function
has not dropped to the point
where we would have to stop treatment.
I’m now on various treatments for anemia
and may be having a transfusion this week.
No doubt the anemia contributes to my low energy
and excessive sleep.
But on the white cell side of bone marrow function,
where suppression would interrupt chemo,
I’m doing fine.
Pain management is an ongoing challenge.
The pain I was having with eating
has thankfully resolved – seemingly
when I took some naproxyn
after getting a back spasm.
My doctors are a little puzzled about the pain –
even more so the cure – but it seemed to respond twice
and has not come back!
The other “pancreatic” kind of visceral pain
still requires pain pills 4 or 5 times a day,
but it is controllable.
There is no reason to think
that this is due to new cancer growth,
as the marker continues to fall.
The consensus is that it represents
healing, inflammation, scarring…..as the cancer mass
is responding to treatment. I keep thinking
that this too will pass – and a couple of times recently
I’ve awakened with no pain
even beyond 6 hours of the last pills.
This gives me hope
that I can get off the pain medicine soon.
Saturday was the last of a series
of training seminars sponsored by our church
for Bay Area ethnic churches. Co-chairing this project
is one of my last remaining responsibilities
as Missions Elder as this two year effort
comes to a conclusion …
I am ticketed to fly to Tirana, Albania in 2 weeks
for the annual mission trip of the Albanian Health Fund.
So far it seems that I will be able to manage
the travel and work there, but please pray
for continued progress with pain control
and energy resurgence.
As I live from pill to pill,
I’m again reminded of the favorite scripture
of our late friend, Joe, Romans 5:3-5:
“Let us rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.
Not only so, but let us also rejoice in our sufferings,
because we know that suffering produces perseverance;
perseverance, character; and character, hope.
And hope does not disappoint us
because God has poured our His love
into our hearts by the Holy Spirit,
whom he has given us.”
Posted by Paul Hensleigh at 7:25 AM
#18
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Unexplained adverse effects
Shortly after my last entry,
the adverse effects of treatment
took a turn for the worse.
It became clear that the pain was prevailing,
despite ‘round the clock Tylenol and Percocet.
With that my appetite just about went to zero
and I have not been able to eat much.
The blood transfusions (2) last Thursday
didn’t really improve my energy status,
so I have spent lots of time sleeping.
And a new bothersome symptom
is recurrent chills and fever,
five times now over the last 2 weeks.
All of this is annoying and disheartening,
and even puzzling,
as there does not seem to be
an apparent cause.
I’ve let the Albania team know
that I will not be going with them next Friday –
just seeing how exhausted
and useless I have felt
the last week was enough
to convince me
that I would not chance
feeling that way
far from home.
My prayer request list is long.
Always I am thankful
for a competent and caring medical team.
Pray that they will be able
to identify the underlying cause
of all the misery. And please pray
for effective pain relief,
without more undue side effects.
Finally that I will be able to resume
a measure of normal nutrition…
and I know that I’ll feel better
when I am able to restore my appetite.
A short verse from Lamentations 3:22,23
“Because of the Lord’s great love
we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.”
Posted by Paul Hensleigh at 9:23 AM
#19 Sunday, October 28, 2007
October 28 update
Let the beloved of the Lord
rest secure in Him.
For He shields him all day long,
and the one the Lord loves
rests between His shoulders."
(Deut. 33:12)
Everyone wants to know
how they can help us but
as we say, prayer is key.
Besides the regular time of day watch
on the left wrist, Paul now has an interval timer
watch on the right wrist which chimes every 11 hours –
the average duration of pain relief with a long acting morphine pill.
This coming Wednesday we are going
for a second opinion consultation
with the pancreatic specialist.
Please pray for the doctor’s wisdom
as to Paul’s next steps for treatment.
Although the abdominal pain
and weight loss are distressing,
not all the news is bad: the tumor markers
indicate the cancer is being diminished
and the radiation oncologist
does not interpret the CT scans
as showing progression at the primary site.
However the radiologists
don’t join in this interpretation
of the follow-up CT – another reason
for having additional consultations.
And of course also please pray
for improved pain management
and for gain of weight
as Paul is down to 150 pounds.
While our desire is that God would heal
the health issues and restore wellness,
it’s clear that has not yet happened.
However we have known God’s presence
with us through some tough times –
and we know that He will continue
to be at our side as we walk
in His presence
and His peace.
All our love, Bonnie and for Turk
Paul the apostle puts it well
in 2 Timothy 1:9:
“I know whom I have believed
and am convinced
that He is able to guard
what I have entrusted to Him
for that day.”
Posted by Paul Hensleigh at 2:56 PM 8 comments
#20 Monday, November 5, 2007
Urgent Prayer
Paul had a bad episode today
with diaphoresis, low blood pressure,
and thready pulse.
He had to be transported
by ambulance to the ER.
Right now he is in the intensive care.
He will be getting three units of blood
transfused overnight. The plan is
for an endoscopy in the morning
to figure out the source of internal bleeding
and determine further intervention.
Please pray for wisdom of the GI doctor
tomorrow morning at 7:30 AM. Also, please pray
for God's healing and guidance
for the next steps to take.
Pray that Paul will have peace
And rest tonight.
I have been comforted by scripture
this morning in Psalm 139:
"All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be."
Bonnie
Posted by Paul Hensleigh at 9:27 PM
#21 Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Answered prayers
Our prayers have been answered:
Paul went to be with his Father
this evening at 7:45 p.m.
We will be making arrangements tomorrow
and update you with a later blog.
"The Lord giveth
and the Lord taketh,
blessed be the name of our Lord."
Bonnie
Posted by Paul Hensleigh at 10:01 PM 11 comments
#21
we ask prayer
for all arrangements to be guided by our Lord.
Thank you again for your love
and support to Paul during these past months.
In Christ's love, Bonnie.
Posted by Paul Hensleigh at 1:12 PM
================================
Paul’s blessing:
You prayed that
“we would make wise decisions, and that
our trust in God’s will for us
would prevail and be apparent
to all around us.”
And so you did. You showed us how to live:
“I am able to get plenty of sleep,
eat well, and enjoy every day!”
“We have crosses to bear every day.
But I have learned how to enjoy
The bitterest of them…”
“…in this exile of cancer treatment,
I’m so thankful for God’s promises –
not to mention the prayers from so many of you.”
“…in this world you will have trouble…
but I have overcome.”
“How thankful we are for His peace,
and thankful for your supporting prayers for us.”
You asked:
“Can you sleep
when the wind blows
through your life?”
“How true it is
that we would like
to be in complete control
of our life and destiny,
while our real responsibility
is to know the good we ought to do
– and do it.”
“We do recount
all of God’s blessings
and are so thankful.
May you claim His Presence also
during your times of trial.”
Thanks, Paul, for showing us how to live.
- Bob Buyers
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