“How am I doing?”
The last couple of weeks I have been feeling well. I have not needed any pain medication and other than sleeping longer nights and taking regular afternoon naps, my routine is pretty normal. Yesterday I exercised Jackson, my horse, for over an hour and then came home and ran the chain saw in the yard for a couple of hours. We have enjoyed having my niece, Mariam and her daughter Jill, visiting from Texas and we had a walk in the hills for an hour this morning following my regular morning body exercise and weight lifting. I have been especially trying to keep up the shoulder exercise since it helps me tolerate the positioning needed for CT and PET scans which are scheduled for next week, and then every three months to follow any changes in tumor images.
So this improvement in my quality of life is a welcomed answer to the prayers of many – hardly a day goes by without my hearing of yet another person or group who are holding me up in prayer. And I continue to have opportunities to encourage and comfort other cancer victims as well. In our Saturday morning Menlo Mens’ Bible Class, John Jenks has mentioned the last couple of weeks about how God comforts us when we have troubles, and this prepares us to share this comfort with others who have similar woes (II Cor 1:3-5). I noticed by the notes in the margin of my Bible that Walt Gerber preached on this passage in 1991 and 1996. His bottom line was, “God does not give us comfort to make us comfortable, but to make us a good comforter.”
“What’s in store for me now?”
Many people are asking what is the treatment plan for me, now that the radiation treatment is completed. Yes, I had the complete radiation treatment in one setting – less than an hour from start to finish.
Yesterday I had the 7th weekly treatment with Gemzar, which is intravenous chemotherapy. It’s given over a half hour period and has no immediate effects on how I feel. However, it does cause me to sleep more than usual especially on the day of treatment. And besides attacking cancer cells, it causes bone marrow depression. So each week I get a blood test to see if I still have enough platelets and leukocytes to continue. Both of these are running borderline low, so I may get a week off in the near future.
The other determinant on how long Gemzar will be given is in terms of favorable response of the cancer. This is measured by a marker in the blood, CA 19-9, and imaging with CT and PET scans every 3 months. So far, the CA 19-9 is dropping, which is good, and the imaging has not shown any new cancer, also good.
My medical oncologist and I continue to have open ears among experts we can access and to search the literature for any new and available chemo with better success on pancreatic cancer than Gemzar. A number of medical colleagues have contributed to this surveillance as well – thanks to you all. So far the published alternatives or additions to Gemzar all carry added toxicity and minimal benefit. In the event that Gemzar fails in the future, one of these alternatives will be considered, but in the meanwhile it makes no sense to change course.
What is my prognosis now that radiation is complete and chemo seems to be working?
From a medical point of view I am coming up to six months since the onset of symptoms (pain) from the pancreatic cancer – about half of people with pancreatic cancer die within that first six months! Beyond that grim statistic, about half of the patients with inoperable pancreatic cancer treated with Trilogy have experienced recurrences or spread of cancer within six months. And despite treatments, overall, only 4% of patients with pancreatic cancer survive beyond 5 years.
Despite these ominous statistics there are some other opinions! The word on the street (neighborhood doctors of Allardice Way) is that I look healthy, eat healthy, have my glass of red wine daily, and exercise – so I should make it for “five to ten years”.
My personal view is that I’m really blessed to be feeling so much better and my primary concern is living well as long as possible. Some weeks ago I quoted Al Weir in When Your Doctor Has Bad News, regarding medical news that shatters your dreams,. “At that point we will have a choice: will we overcome and live life fully, or will we whimper through the rest of our existence until death: I believe that God did not create us to give up life before He rings the bell. God created us to be overcomers.” Amen Al, thanks for the good word.
A scripture that comes to mind is James 4:13-17, Boasting About Tomorrow.
13Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." 14Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." 16As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. 17Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.
How true it is that we would like to be in complete control of our life and destiny, while our real responsibility it to know the good we ought to do – and do it.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Summer Blessings
Good news is that the family reunion in Yosemite was a wonderful event! All of our immediate family members were with us and more than 100 total came for the Curry family reunion which was last held 5 years ago. We always meet some new and interesting relatives there – not to mention those we have not seen for decades. Curry and Gary Johnson certainly fell into the latter category and reminded Bonnie and I of our seeing their parents often during 1970-72 when we were stationed at Fort Lewis, near their home in Tacoma, WA. Our daughter, Michelle and family from London got the recognition for coming the longest distance to attend. Also our 2 year old grand daughter, Bo, was the youngest in the crowd! Michelle’s will be with us a few more days, before returning to London where they have just bought a flat. Michelle’s excitement is high over first home ownership and developing the plans for renovation, which will probably take a year to complete.
Joye and David, my sister and brother in law, brought our 7 year old grand daughter,McKenna, with them from Kansas. She will be staying with us for a month, and it’s fun to have a sweet grandkids in the house. Joye’s grand daughter, Hayley, from Ohio also came along and they have spent a few days sightseeing in the San Francisco Bay area before returning to Kansas Wednesday. Brother Hugh and his wife Genevieve, from Raleigh N.Carolina, also delighted us with a visit the day before the reunion. We were thankful for neighbors the Krugers who loaned us a bedroom since the house was filled.
I am so delighted to be relieved from the abdominal pain that was so bothersome just a few weeks ago. The response to treatment has been beyond my expectations with regard to the pain – in fact I have needed no pain medicine for the last few days. The pain began to subside soon after I started chemo, six weeks ago and has steadily diminished. My appetite and food tolerance also is improving. However, my energy is diminished and I need to rest much more, with long naps.
Bonnie and I were honored at the ob-gyn resident’s annual graduation banquet on the Friday before our family reunion. Bonnie had been in consort with the organizers and they displayed pictures from my lifetime – even before medicine – as they honored me with a “Lifetime Exceptional Achievement Award” and for Bonnie a big bouquet of roses! Many of the current faculty members are former residents in our training program, so it was especially meaningful to have them together for this occasion. And I also was reaffirmed in the decision to go the Trilogy radiation treatment route, as I would not otherwise have been able to attend the reunion nor the resident’s graduation. And I’m also so thankful that God has used chemo and radiation to make me feel better – not exactly the usual outcome one hears about with these treatments.
On the down side, the news from the Administrative Law Judge was not in my favor regarding the insurance payment for the radiation with Trilogy. This was a disappointment of course and may be pursued further if we decide to start over in a claim for services already rendered. Since the judge’s opinion did not come down until after the treatment, I was told by Health Net Insurance, that I would have to start over in a different claim for payment recovery, even if the judge had ruled in my favor. So I’m praying about whether to pursue the claim and asking opinions of some of the radiation oncology staff who have been involved in payment issues. And of course I don’t want this to dominate my life for a long period of time.
We have had a busy weekend and week ahead, with our missionaries and friends the Brees coming today for a gathering with friends to hear of their work in Pakistan. Then Sunday, son Drew and family are coming to celebrate my birthday and their anniversary when we also join celebrating two neighbors birthdays in another neighbors gathering, it will be like a mini block party! Haleigh and Taylor will stay for a week and go with McKenna for our MPPC church day camp,
This morning we heard from my brother, Tom who works in Ethiopia, that they will be arriving for a visit with us on Monday. So the sheets are staying warm, and we’re so glad to have our family and friends around us at this time.
Yesterday McKenna, Heather’s daughter, started running a high temperature – up to 104.+ but with prayer, aspirin and cold sponges, it has come down to normal. A virus had hit Haleigh last week so we trust it will be short lived as hers was and no one else comes down with it. McKenna doesn’t enjoy being banished to her “quarantined” room today, but enjoys the room service by Grandmama.
I close by sharing a story in today’s devotional by Bishop Jerry Macklin. Bishop has become a compatriot and good friend as we have co-chaired the Barnabas Project over the last couple of years. Through this project we have developed and provided leadership support and enrichment programs for about 25 ethnic churches in the Bay Area.
“During the third century, when St. Felix of Nola was running from his enemies, he took refuge in a cave. Eventually a spider began to weave a web across the small opening, sealing it off and making it look like nobody had been inside for months. As a result his pursuers passed by and didn’t bother looking there. Later, stepping out into the sunshine, Felix declared, ‘Where God is, a spider’s web is a wall. And where He isn’t, a wall is but a spider’s web.’ Jeus said you’d have problems on earth; people will disappoint you, and you’ll disappoint yourself. Sometimes you’ll end up in a cave because of something your did, other times because of circumstances you’ve no control over. But God is with you either way. And like Paul said, ‘With God on our side…how can we lose?’
“Be at rest once more, for the Lord has been good to you!” Psalm 116.7
Joye and David, my sister and brother in law, brought our 7 year old grand daughter,McKenna, with them from Kansas. She will be staying with us for a month, and it’s fun to have a sweet grandkids in the house. Joye’s grand daughter, Hayley, from Ohio also came along and they have spent a few days sightseeing in the San Francisco Bay area before returning to Kansas Wednesday. Brother Hugh and his wife Genevieve, from Raleigh N.Carolina, also delighted us with a visit the day before the reunion. We were thankful for neighbors the Krugers who loaned us a bedroom since the house was filled.
I am so delighted to be relieved from the abdominal pain that was so bothersome just a few weeks ago. The response to treatment has been beyond my expectations with regard to the pain – in fact I have needed no pain medicine for the last few days. The pain began to subside soon after I started chemo, six weeks ago and has steadily diminished. My appetite and food tolerance also is improving. However, my energy is diminished and I need to rest much more, with long naps.
Bonnie and I were honored at the ob-gyn resident’s annual graduation banquet on the Friday before our family reunion. Bonnie had been in consort with the organizers and they displayed pictures from my lifetime – even before medicine – as they honored me with a “Lifetime Exceptional Achievement Award” and for Bonnie a big bouquet of roses! Many of the current faculty members are former residents in our training program, so it was especially meaningful to have them together for this occasion. And I also was reaffirmed in the decision to go the Trilogy radiation treatment route, as I would not otherwise have been able to attend the reunion nor the resident’s graduation. And I’m also so thankful that God has used chemo and radiation to make me feel better – not exactly the usual outcome one hears about with these treatments.
On the down side, the news from the Administrative Law Judge was not in my favor regarding the insurance payment for the radiation with Trilogy. This was a disappointment of course and may be pursued further if we decide to start over in a claim for services already rendered. Since the judge’s opinion did not come down until after the treatment, I was told by Health Net Insurance, that I would have to start over in a different claim for payment recovery, even if the judge had ruled in my favor. So I’m praying about whether to pursue the claim and asking opinions of some of the radiation oncology staff who have been involved in payment issues. And of course I don’t want this to dominate my life for a long period of time.
We have had a busy weekend and week ahead, with our missionaries and friends the Brees coming today for a gathering with friends to hear of their work in Pakistan. Then Sunday, son Drew and family are coming to celebrate my birthday and their anniversary when we also join celebrating two neighbors birthdays in another neighbors gathering, it will be like a mini block party! Haleigh and Taylor will stay for a week and go with McKenna for our MPPC church day camp,
This morning we heard from my brother, Tom who works in Ethiopia, that they will be arriving for a visit with us on Monday. So the sheets are staying warm, and we’re so glad to have our family and friends around us at this time.
Yesterday McKenna, Heather’s daughter, started running a high temperature – up to 104.+ but with prayer, aspirin and cold sponges, it has come down to normal. A virus had hit Haleigh last week so we trust it will be short lived as hers was and no one else comes down with it. McKenna doesn’t enjoy being banished to her “quarantined” room today, but enjoys the room service by Grandmama.
I close by sharing a story in today’s devotional by Bishop Jerry Macklin. Bishop has become a compatriot and good friend as we have co-chaired the Barnabas Project over the last couple of years. Through this project we have developed and provided leadership support and enrichment programs for about 25 ethnic churches in the Bay Area.
“During the third century, when St. Felix of Nola was running from his enemies, he took refuge in a cave. Eventually a spider began to weave a web across the small opening, sealing it off and making it look like nobody had been inside for months. As a result his pursuers passed by and didn’t bother looking there. Later, stepping out into the sunshine, Felix declared, ‘Where God is, a spider’s web is a wall. And where He isn’t, a wall is but a spider’s web.’ Jeus said you’d have problems on earth; people will disappoint you, and you’ll disappoint yourself. Sometimes you’ll end up in a cave because of something your did, other times because of circumstances you’ve no control over. But God is with you either way. And like Paul said, ‘With God on our side…how can we lose?’
“Be at rest once more, for the Lord has been good to you!” Psalm 116.7
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