TO GOD BE THE GLORY!

“Be joyful always, pray continually and give thanks in every circumstance for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.

How thankful we are for the blessings of family and friends who supported us during these past months and recent weeks since Paul’s decline, hospitalization and death; and then at the internment and two Memorial services. The first one was held at Paul’s family’s home church, The Reformed Presbyterian Church, in Winchester, Kansas, where he grew up in the foundation of his faith. The second one was at our current church, Menlo Park Presbyterian Church, just this Thursday, here in California. At MPPC and through Bible Study Fellowship, both of us grew in our knowledge and understanding of what and whom we believe. This was through the teachings and study of God’s Word so faithfully preached by our many pastors and teaching leaders.

Paul’s brother, Rev. David Hensleigh, gave the message in Winchester, which focused on “For I know in Whom I believe”. Rev. Rick Langeloh and Rev.,John Ortberg conducted the second service, which focused on 1 Corinthians chapter 15, passages of which were read by Vip Patel earlier. Son Drew and 3 friends and colleagues spoke next. (Dr. Ted Fainstat, Dr. Suellen Miller who brought a message from Dr. Dosu Ojengbede, of Nigeria, and Dr. Hudd Targgart.) They reflected on their many years of seeing Paul’s love and service to his friend, Jesus Christ, and how he was called to serve both here in the Stanford area, as well as in so many worldwide places because of his faith.

Our entire family have been uplifted by tremendous gifts of love, calls, visits, cards, e-mails and food, which helped us walk through this process. It’s hard to believe Paul is gone; with his many trips overseas on missions, it seems like he should soon be returning, but there isn’t a call reminding me to go to the airport to meet him. Drew and family, as well as Michelle and her family, have been here helping with all the multitude of details, arrangements and direction of things next to do. Michelle and Drew also put together the obituaries, the program and the multimedia show of pictures of Paul with family, friends and events over his 68 years.

Invaluable also was Paul’s sister, Joye Huston, who was here visiting when Paul collapsed. After his death, we made arrangements to take his ashes to be interred in the home family cemetery plot by the church. Joye then returned home to begin all the details for make arrangements for the return of all six out of town siblings/ families and extended relatives who came home to say farewell to Paul and support us. Brother Robb and wife Peg had the family farmhouse ready to host two days of dinners and company, so they made for a very special family reunion out of such a sad situation.

If you would like a copy of the beautiful program and obituary, with pictures of Paul, please e-mail me at paulhens@stanford.edu and I will send one in due time. With Drew back in Elk Grove now, and Michelle and family returning to London Sunday, it will be a new era for me. The joy is that I also have Jesus as my friend and the Lord has given me so many friends here to walk with me in these next days. We know prayer has sustained all of us and we do give thanks that Paul is released from his pain and is with our Abba Father in heaven. To God be the glory! In His Peace and Joy, Bonnie

Memorial Services

We are so thankful for all the support we have received since Paul's death Tuesday. His obituary will be published Sunday in the San Jose Mercury News and in the Kansas City Star. I am thankful Michelle, Bo and Grey got in yesterday from London and Ralf today from Dubai. Michelle got to view her father yesterday before arrangements were made. We plan to fly out Saturday for a service in Winchester, Kansas at the Reformed Presbyterian Church on Monday, November 12th at 11 a.m. with the ashes interned in the adjoining church cemetery. We are hoping all of Paul's siblings and many family and friends will be able to get in and we ask prayer for travel mercies and all arrangements to be guided by our Lord. We hope to return Tuesday evening.

A memorial service for friends and family will be held in California on Thursday, November 15th at 2:00 PM at the Menlo Park Presbyterian Church. Our church is located at 950 Santa Cruz Avenue, Menlo Park, CA 94025.

In lieu of flowers, we are asking that any Memorial donations be sent to the Albanian Health Fund, P.O.Box 63, Saratoga, CA 95071-0063 ( www.albanianhealthfund.org ).

Thank you again for your love and support to Paul during these past months.
In Christ's love, Bonnie.

Answered prayers

Our prayers have been answered, Paul went to be with his Father this evening at 7:45 p.m. We will be making arrangements tomorrow and update you with a later blog. "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh, blessed be the name of our Lord."

Bonnie

Urgent Prayer

November 5, 2007

Paul had a bad episode today with diaphoresis, low blood pressure, & thready pulse. He had to be transported by ambulance to the ER. Right now he is in the intensive care unit at El Camino Hospital, since the Stanford ER was closed to incoming ambulances. He will be getting three units of blood transfused overnight as he had a hemoglobin of 5 Gm, down from 9.7 on Thursday.

Paul and I started the morning with a good visit with sisters Jane and Joye. Shortly after Jane left, it was decided to call the paramedics. Thankfully, sister Joye was here to assist us and stayed with me through the evening. Drew was able to make it to the hospital just before Paul needed to rest for the night.

The plan is for an endoscopy in the morning to figure out the source of internal bleeding and determine further intervention. Please pray for wisdom of the GI doctor tomorrow morning at 7:30 AM. Also, please pray for God's healing and guidance for the next steps to take. Pray that Paul will have peace & rest tonight.

I have been comforted by scripture this morning in Psalm 139 "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

Bonnie

October 28 update

Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him. For He shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between His shoulders." (Deut. 33:12)

Dear Friends, We are so thankful for all the support by prayers, cards, e-mails, blog responses and calls, in addition to little treats that neighbors can’t resist baking for us. Everyone wants to know how they can help us but as we say, prayer is key. Our youngest, Michelle, was here solo from London last week for 9 days and got us organized with multiple runs to the grocery store so we are well stocked. She is very organized and giving so she comes up with new ideas, Besides the regular time of day watch on the left wrist, Paul now has an interval timer watch on the right wrist which chimes every 11 hours – the average duration of pain relief with a long acting morphine pill. Thank you Michelle.

Drew is so handy and fixed our DSL when internet server went out the other weekend! Today Drew’s family came and brought us lunch; fixed another household item; and took off to get back to their home place to feed their cattle, which they are now doing twice daily!. We so enjoyed seeing them and are very thankful for their encouragement too.

This coming Wednesday. The 31st of Oct., we are going to UC San Francisco Cancer Center at Mt.Zion Hospital for a second opinion consultation with the pancreatic specialist. Please pray for the doctor’s wisdom as to Paul’s next steps for treatment. Although the abdominal pain and weight loss are distressing, not all the news is bad: the tumor markers indicate the cancer is being diminished and the radiation oncologist does not interpret the CT scans as showing progression at the primary site. However the radiologists don’t join in this interpretation of the follow-up CT – another reason for having additional consultations.

We are thankful that Paul’s sister, Joye, is flying in Friday from Kansas for several days. We pray for her finding good flights and travel mercies for her.

Meanwhile, life moves along for us and we have a few prayer requests;

I am on jury duty call this week so pray for wisdom regarding rescheduling to fit it into the complex schedule of medical appointments.

We’re seeking a disposition for Jackson, Paul’s remaining horse. At the moment, we’re thinking of a lease arrangement where a responsible person would care for and use Jackson for at least a few months. Drew has my horse, Foxy, for which we also are thankful.

We had decided recently that we would not renovate our old swimming pool, but remove it instead. Last week the main pump went out. So pray for just the right contractor to handle this pool removal job efficiently.

And of course also please pray for improved pain management and for gain of weight as Paul is down to 150 pounds. While our desire is that God would heal the health issues and restore wellness, it’s clear that has not yet happened. However we have known God’s presence with us through some tough times – and we know that He will continue to be at our side as we walk in His presence and His peace.

All our love, Bonnie and for Turk

Paul the apostle puts it well in 2 Timothy 1:9: “I know whom I have believed and am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him for that day.”

Unexplained adverse effects

Shortly after my last entry, the adverse effects of treatment took a turn for the worse. It became clear that the pain was prevailing, despite ‘round the clock Tylenol and Percocet. With that my appetite just about went to zero and I have not been able to eat much. The blood transfusions (2) last Thursday didn’t really improve my energy status, so I have spent lots of time sleeping. And a new bothersome symptom is recurrent chills and fever, five times now over the last 2 weeks. All of this is annoying and disheartening, and even puzzling, as there does not seem to be an apparent cause.

So this Monday Bonnie and I met with my doctors and began a series of tests to get some understanding of causes – the pain, fevers, and even the anemia are not typical for this particular kind of chemo. And I also have switched over to a more potent and longer acting pain medication.

I’ve also let the Albania team know that I will not be going with them next Friday – just seeing how exhausted and useless I have felt the last week was enough to convince me that I would not chance feeling that way far from home.

My prayer request list is long. Always I am thankful for a competent and caring medical team. Pray that they will be able to identify the underlying cause of all the misery. And please pray for effective pain relief, without more undue side effects. Finally that I will be able to resume a measure of normal nutrition – presently I am down 15# below my normal baseline weight, and I know that I’ll feel better when I am able to restore my appetite.

A short verse from Lamentations 3:22,23 “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

Hope for tomorrow...

During my long absence from the blog, we have had lots of activity but not much has changed with my treatment or response. That’s not all bad: this week I had a recheck on the tumor marker (CA19-9) and it was less than half the level three weeks before! It’s a real answer to prayer that I am able to continue Gemzar chemo after 16 weeks and that my bone marrow function has not dropped to the point where we would have to stop treatment.

The part of my bone marrow that has been suppressed most is that which makes red blood cells, so I’m now on various treatments for anemia and may be having a transfusion this week. No doubt the anemia contributes to my low energy and excessive sleep. But on the white cell (neutrophil) side of bone marrow function, where suppression would interrupt chemo, I’m doing fine.

Pain management is an ongoing challenge. The pain I was having with eating has thankfully resolved – seemingly when I took some NSAIDs (naproxyn) after getting a back spasm. My doctors are a little puzzled about the pain - even more so the cure – but it seemed to respond to naproxyn twice and has not come back! The other “pancreatic” kind of visceral pain still requires pain pills 4 or 5 times a day, but it is controllable. There is no reason to think that this is due to new cancer growth, as the marker continues to fall. The consensus is that it represents healing, inflammation, scarring…..as the cancer mass is responding to treatment. I keep thinking that this too will pass – and a couple of times recently I’ve awakened with no pain even beyond 6 hours of the last pills. This gives me hope that I can get off the pain medicine soon.

Some of you have been asking about Jackson and his foot infection – he has healed and yesterday I actually hired my farrier friend, Thomas, to reset his shoes. I kept thinking that my energy would return and I could do the honors, but that has not happened yet.

And we had another good visit with Michelle and her family from London. It always livens things up to have a 2 and 3 1/2 year old about the house and they are at a fun stage for grandparents.

Saturday was the last of a series of training seminars sponsored by our church for Bay Area ethnic churches. Co-chairing this project is one of my last remaining responsibilities as Missions Elder - as this two year effort comes to a conclusion with a day spent highlighting the kinds of community services being sponsored by the many faith based agencies in our region.

I am ticketed to fly to Tirana, Albania in 2 weeks for the annual mission trip of the Albanian Health Fund. So far it seems that I will be able to manage the travel and work there, but please pray for continued progress with pain control and energy resurgence. The plan with my oncologist is to be off Gemzar for a week, so my travel dates are October 19th to the 31st. This also allows me a 3 day stop over in London on the return trip for rest and relaxation with Michelle and family.

As I live from pill to pill, I’m again reminded of the favorite scripture of our late friend, Joe, Romans 5:3-5:
“Let us rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but let us also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us because God has poured our His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”

SOME BUMPS ALONG THE WAY……

When I last reported on my status, I was feeling pain-free without taking any medicine for pain. For the last couple of weeks I’ve had some abdominal pains after I eat and particularly when I lay down. This seems to be just an increase of intestinal mobility after eating (gastro-colic reflex gone amuck) and just results in aching pain. We’re not quite sure why this is occurring and have just been managing it symptomatically with pain pills – waiting to see what evolves. The other adverse effect of the abdominal pain is on my appetite – and I frequently have trouble thinking of anything good to eat!

On the positive side, my bone marrow continues to recover sufficiently for my continued weekly infusions of Gemzar. This week I got the 13th course of this chemo which is the preferred one for pancreatic cancer. And so far the markers indicate that it is reducing my cancer cells. As I’ve mentioned before, the side effects of Gemzar are not severe, but I do sleep long hours especially on the days just following treatment.

Previously I mentioned all the summer’s events – reunions, visits, parties, celebrations – in which Bonnie and I have been able to see and enjoy so many of our family and friends. The wrap up for my summer was a two days of an organized horse trail ride at Mt Diablo – a benefit for the Bay Area Ridge trail. This is an annual event of 100 miles ride over 6 days in the East Bay that I’ve done twice before, but I had not previously done the last two days at Mt Diablo. So when the announcement came in April for this year’s Labor Day weekend ride, I signed up for the two days at Mt Diablo. I had sent in my reservations in April, 3 days before I had the CT scan which first showed my pancreatic mass. Since I was feeling better as the summer progressed, doing the ride has been something to look forward to. This event is “catered” camping with all the meals and horse feed provided on site – not to mention a club house, swimming pool, showers, and nightly entertainment!

Not only was this the first extended ride I’ve done since last Labor Day – it was the first since then for my horse, Jackson as well. Shortly after the East Bay Ride last year, Jackson became lame in the left hind quarter, and after several vet visits and therapeutic trials, I took him to my favorite consultant vet, Dr Noel Muller. Noel’s practice is in Galt, south of Sacramento and near where our son, Drew and family live. Jackson had made a previous trip to Noel about 3 years ago when he had some lameness in the front – which turned out to be severe and chronic laminitis. With Noel’s advice and the tutoring of one of his associated farriers, Jackson has almost completely recovered from what is often a terminal disease. So at Thanksgiving time, Jackson made the trip back to Galt where after a couple of hours of examination and tests he was determined to have broken his pelvis! For those of you who wonder – this was determined after ruling out any problems below the hip, then a pelvic exam – a big “Ah ha!”- and a confirmatory trans-rectal ultrasound. Noel assured me that Jackson would heal if we could restrict his activity for several months. Not a short order for the alpha horse in a pasture of 50 other geldings – the assumption being that he got knocked down by a challenger to his dominate position in the herd. After several more months of trying to progressively limit Jackson’s activity to the point of mending his pelvis, I ended up moving him to a different nearby horse facility where they had a 12 foot square stall with no access to other horses. Between February and April he stayed in that confinement and a small outdoors 20 foot run which we also boarded up so he could not get eye contact with his neighbor horse. And it’s only in the last couple of months that I have slowly begun to exercise and then ride Jackson. Long way to say that the Mt Diablo ride was the first in a year for both me and Jackson – and I was not quite sure that either of us was quite up to it.

Well the ride was great and despite the hot weather, we were able to complete 30 miles or so of trails – had we not been lost a few times it would have been 26 miles! And the only glitch was that Jackson came up lame in the right front during the last hour. Back home we’ve had twice daily soaking in Epson salts and checking for sore spots, I found a small hoof abscess and drained it – a much better diagnosis than return of laminitis! And in the course of squatting down to keep Jackson’s hoof in the hot Epson salts, I now have a sore lumbar spine – makes me walk like Grandpa Wheeler! It’s also a reminder to be more faithful with my exercise routine.

Another very moving experience this week was the celebration/graduation dinner for my class of ruling elders at Menlo Park Pres. The board of elders consists of 24 women and men who are elected for 3 year terms. And we meet weekly with the pastoral staff, usually for an hour at 06:30 am to deal with the business of the church and to pray for common and personal concerns. With all the personal events of our family in the last 3 years, I have been the recipient of very frequent and fervent prayer by this group – known as our Session. In the course of these weekly meetings, along with other departmental work, we become very appreciative of each persons gifts and service and of course good friends! As our senior pastor aptly summarized our graduation event, “It made me grateful for the laughter and fun and for such a remarkable collection of hearts and stories and evident work of God in so many lives and gifts and burdens and journeys.” Well said, indeed!

I began this update by saying that I’ve had some bumps along the way, but the blessing of life continue as well with new events and happenings continually on the horizon. Later today we will be meeting our daughter, Michelle, and her family arriving from London for a visit of 10 days. And of course Drew and his family will be here to see them and us during some of those days, though their girls have full schedules of school and soccer, so theirs will likely be just an overnight with us.

In Lloyd Ogilivie’s GOD’S BEST FOR YOUR LIFE, he used Psalm 40 in this morning’s devotion which was so encouraging. “I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry, He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord. Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods. Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you. Were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.” We do recount all of God’s blessings and are so thankful. May you claim His Presence also during your times of trials.

PS. Thanks to Linda and Kim for the good pack trip report and great pictures!

Paul Hensleigh with Bonnie's edits

SIX WEEK FOLLOW-UP

This week various scans have been done on my body and the blood test tumor marker repeated to assess my response to treatment. The timing has been six weeks since the radiation treatment was given and 12 weeks since the chemotherapy began, not to mention it’s 16 weeks since many of you joined in prayer for healing of my cancer! The radiation oncologist, Dr Koong, is in charge of my PET scans which are the most sensitive imaging indicator of therapeutic response, therefore he considers this a “six weeks follow up”. Both the medical oncologist, Dr Colocci, who manages the chemo and the CT scans and Dr Koong agree that it’s impossible to attribute any observed improvement to one treatment or the other, and on my part, I don’t discount improvements in answer to your many prayers. While it’s traditional to do CT scans for follow up, I am told that they give little information about favorable response – often showing no change for months despite obvious improvements by other indicators. So the primary indicators for follow up are the tumor marker in the blood, CA 19-9, and the PET scan.

What we learned from the visit with Dr Koong yesterday is that the response to treatment are very favorable – he says as good as could be expected. This goes along with my feeling better, both in terms of being pain free and also increasing restoration of energy. So I am still taking naps on most but not all days, and my productive hours per day are expanding. And I’ve once again begun to bounce out of bed at 5am feeling ready for a full day. Even after shoeing Jackson yesterday, I didn’t feel exhausted. All these are indications of good improvements in my well being over a few weeks ago.

For those of you who want the specifics of the critical tests, my tumor marker (CA 19-9) has fallen from a peak of 5400 in late May to 4600 July 11 and 2000 on August 2. The medical opinion is that this is as good a response as one could reasonably expect, and the plan is to continue chemo at least as long as my bone marrow can tolerate it, and so long as the CA 19-9 and PET scans show continued improvement. In general terms the PET scan, which shows the presence of an injected marker wherever there is cancer, shows no new hot spots indicative of spreading cancer and the primary tumor has about half the uptake that was seen just before radiation. Dr Koong interprets this also as an optimal response. Praise the Lord! Another set of follow up tests is scheduled for 6 weeks from now.

Otherwise, life if full and includes many blessings besides my medical improvements. Last weekend we attended the Albania Health Fund Board meeting at the beach-front home of our Board member in Pacific Grove. Bonnie and McKenna explored the Monterey Bay area while we met to discuss the work that God has called us to in Albania. This is a challenging kind of ministry and we are fortunate to have a diverse group of gifted directors, mostly doctors but also an attorney and one businessman. Bill and Bobbie Johnson, who pioneered these efforts when the Albanian borders opened in 1991, continue to guide the work with their Godly wisdom and their passion for the medical and spiritual health of the people of Albania. Besides extensive efforts in medical development in the medical school in Tirana, we also are involved in the introduction of Christianity and principles of morality and ethics in medical practice. Predictably, the most responsive groups are the students and residents. And our biggest reward is to see these young doctors adopting and advocating for integrity of lifestyle and genuine improvements in medical care. In the medical library, which we have developed near the medical school campus, we have also made Christian literature available and the students have organized weekly Bible studies on their own initiative. Although no religious practice was allowed for several decades before 1991, we have recently been advised that among the 1800 medical students (six year curriculum) that about a third have come to know Jesus and claim Christianity as there religion. Besides our work with the medical students, Campus Crusade for Christ and a number of other student Christian ministries are very active in Albania.

Some of you have expressed surprise that last weekend I was also elected president of the Albania Health Fund (AHF) Board. Actually I agreed long ago to be ‘president elect’ - long before I knew that pancreatic cancer would be part of my life. So prior to our recent meeting I consulted with my doctors and some of the Board members and came to the conclusion that it was still OK to proceed with the work plan of AHF. Of course the improvements noted above go a long ways towards affirming that decision. According to the bylaws, AHF has annual elections, but by tradition the same person has been elected president for several years running. The Board has been discussing whether that should be 3 or 4 years – and so far as I’m concerned a 3 or 4 year cancer remission would be a welcomed gift from God and I’d love to spend that time carrying on the work of those who have gone before.

One big event in my annual calendar that I cancelled some months ago was my horse pack trip to the Immigrant Basin in the Sierras. Many of you know that I have been the outfitter and cook for a group of women horse fanciers for the last several years. In light of my treatments and associated fatigue, I bowed out of that one a couple of months ago. Sorry not to be there – hope you gals survive on your own cooking! Tent camping was on my mind this week as I was reading a part of Dave and Jan Dravecky’s book, “Do No Lose Heart”. He was speaking of the Bible passage in II Corinthians, chapter 5 which refers to our bodies as being like a tent – such as in mountain camping. Our bodies are likened to an imperfect and temporary dwelling. (Glad to hear from my doctors that my body may last longer than at first they expected!) To give you the gist of the passage, I quote from the Message by Peterson…

“So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever.

For instance, we know that when these bodies of ours are taken down like tents and folded away, they will be replaced by resurrection bodies in heaven – God-made, not hand made – and we’ll never have to relocate our ‘tents’ again. Sometimes we can hardly wait to move – so that we cry out in frustration. Compared to what’s coming, living conditions around here seem like a stopover in an unfurnished shack, and we’re tired of it! We’ve been given a glimpse of the real thing, our true home, our resurrection bodies! The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what’s ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we’ll never settle for less.”

So while I do miss being in the mountains, and I am thinking of my friends in the unfurnished shacks and tents, which are so familiar, don’t forget the best is yet to come! And hopefully I’ll be able to join you on the horse pack trip next August – tent dwelling and all.

Meanwhile another big event is scheduled this Saturday to honor the retirement of my friend and ob/gyn chair, Ted Fainstat, my colleague of more than 30 years, first at Kansas University and then at Stanford and Santa Clara Valley Medical Center. About 170 of Ted’s closest friends will gather at the San Jose Fairmont to honor his many years of faithful work as a mentor, teacher and chair of this vital department. And these same attendees are among my good friends, so this will be a highlight for me as well. If you add them up, my life in recent weeks has been filled with reunions, family gatherings, graduations and all kinds of opportunities to enjoy family and friends. How thankful I am despite my cancer to be able to fully partake in these many special events! Again, thank you for continued prayer and the encouraging cards and calls – each day is a gift from the Lord to which you contribute.

Frequently asked questions!

“How am I doing?”

The last couple of weeks I have been feeling well. I have not needed any pain medication and other than sleeping longer nights and taking regular afternoon naps, my routine is pretty normal. Yesterday I exercised Jackson, my horse, for over an hour and then came home and ran the chain saw in the yard for a couple of hours. We have enjoyed having my niece, Mariam and her daughter Jill, visiting from Texas and we had a walk in the hills for an hour this morning following my regular morning body exercise and weight lifting. I have been especially trying to keep up the shoulder exercise since it helps me tolerate the positioning needed for CT and PET scans which are scheduled for next week, and then every three months to follow any changes in tumor images.

So this improvement in my quality of life is a welcomed answer to the prayers of many – hardly a day goes by without my hearing of yet another person or group who are holding me up in prayer. And I continue to have opportunities to encourage and comfort other cancer victims as well. In our Saturday morning Menlo Mens’ Bible Class, John Jenks has mentioned the last couple of weeks about how God comforts us when we have troubles, and this prepares us to share this comfort with others who have similar woes (II Cor 1:3-5). I noticed by the notes in the margin of my Bible that Walt Gerber preached on this passage in 1991 and 1996. His bottom line was, “God does not give us comfort to make us comfortable, but to make us a good comforter.”

“What’s in store for me now?”

Many people are asking what is the treatment plan for me, now that the radiation treatment is completed. Yes, I had the complete radiation treatment in one setting – less than an hour from start to finish.

Yesterday I had the 7th weekly treatment with Gemzar, which is intravenous chemotherapy. It’s given over a half hour period and has no immediate effects on how I feel. However, it does cause me to sleep more than usual especially on the day of treatment. And besides attacking cancer cells, it causes bone marrow depression. So each week I get a blood test to see if I still have enough platelets and leukocytes to continue. Both of these are running borderline low, so I may get a week off in the near future.

The other determinant on how long Gemzar will be given is in terms of favorable response of the cancer. This is measured by a marker in the blood, CA 19-9, and imaging with CT and PET scans every 3 months. So far, the CA 19-9 is dropping, which is good, and the imaging has not shown any new cancer, also good.

My medical oncologist and I continue to have open ears among experts we can access and to search the literature for any new and available chemo with better success on pancreatic cancer than Gemzar. A number of medical colleagues have contributed to this surveillance as well – thanks to you all. So far the published alternatives or additions to Gemzar all carry added toxicity and minimal benefit. In the event that Gemzar fails in the future, one of these alternatives will be considered, but in the meanwhile it makes no sense to change course.

What is my prognosis now that radiation is complete and chemo seems to be working?

From a medical point of view I am coming up to six months since the onset of symptoms (pain) from the pancreatic cancer – about half of people with pancreatic cancer die within that first six months! Beyond that grim statistic, about half of the patients with inoperable pancreatic cancer treated with Trilogy have experienced recurrences or spread of cancer within six months. And despite treatments, overall, only 4% of patients with pancreatic cancer survive beyond 5 years.

Despite these ominous statistics there are some other opinions! The word on the street (neighborhood doctors of Allardice Way) is that I look healthy, eat healthy, have my glass of red wine daily, and exercise – so I should make it for “five to ten years”.

My personal view is that I’m really blessed to be feeling so much better and my primary concern is living well as long as possible. Some weeks ago I quoted Al Weir in When Your Doctor Has Bad News, regarding medical news that shatters your dreams,. “At that point we will have a choice: will we overcome and live life fully, or will we whimper through the rest of our existence until death: I believe that God did not create us to give up life before He rings the bell. God created us to be overcomers.” Amen Al, thanks for the good word.

A scripture that comes to mind is James 4:13-17, Boasting About Tomorrow.
13Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." 14Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." 16As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. 17Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.

How true it is that we would like to be in complete control of our life and destiny, while our real responsibility it to know the good we ought to do – and do it.

Summer Blessings

Good news is that the family reunion in Yosemite was a wonderful event! All of our immediate family members were with us and more than 100 total came for the Curry family reunion which was last held 5 years ago. We always meet some new and interesting relatives there – not to mention those we have not seen for decades. Curry and Gary Johnson certainly fell into the latter category and reminded Bonnie and I of our seeing their parents often during 1970-72 when we were stationed at Fort Lewis, near their home in Tacoma, WA. Our daughter, Michelle and family from London got the recognition for coming the longest distance to attend. Also our 2 year old grand daughter, Bo, was the youngest in the crowd! Michelle’s will be with us a few more days, before returning to London where they have just bought a flat. Michelle’s excitement is high over first home ownership and developing the plans for renovation, which will probably take a year to complete.

Joye and David, my sister and brother in law, brought our 7 year old grand daughter,McKenna, with them from Kansas. She will be staying with us for a month, and it’s fun to have a sweet grandkids in the house. Joye’s grand daughter, Hayley, from Ohio also came along and they have spent a few days sightseeing in the San Francisco Bay area before returning to Kansas Wednesday. Brother Hugh and his wife Genevieve, from Raleigh N.Carolina, also delighted us with a visit the day before the reunion. We were thankful for neighbors the Krugers who loaned us a bedroom since the house was filled.

I am so delighted to be relieved from the abdominal pain that was so bothersome just a few weeks ago. The response to treatment has been beyond my expectations with regard to the pain – in fact I have needed no pain medicine for the last few days. The pain began to subside soon after I started chemo, six weeks ago and has steadily diminished. My appetite and food tolerance also is improving. However, my energy is diminished and I need to rest much more, with long naps.

Bonnie and I were honored at the ob-gyn resident’s annual graduation banquet on the Friday before our family reunion. Bonnie had been in consort with the organizers and they displayed pictures from my lifetime – even before medicine – as they honored me with a “Lifetime Exceptional Achievement Award” and for Bonnie a big bouquet of roses! Many of the current faculty members are former residents in our training program, so it was especially meaningful to have them together for this occasion. And I also was reaffirmed in the decision to go the Trilogy radiation treatment route, as I would not otherwise have been able to attend the reunion nor the resident’s graduation. And I’m also so thankful that God has used chemo and radiation to make me feel better – not exactly the usual outcome one hears about with these treatments.

On the down side, the news from the Administrative Law Judge was not in my favor regarding the insurance payment for the radiation with Trilogy. This was a disappointment of course and may be pursued further if we decide to start over in a claim for services already rendered. Since the judge’s opinion did not come down until after the treatment, I was told by Health Net Insurance, that I would have to start over in a different claim for payment recovery, even if the judge had ruled in my favor. So I’m praying about whether to pursue the claim and asking opinions of some of the radiation oncology staff who have been involved in payment issues. And of course I don’t want this to dominate my life for a long period of time.

We have had a busy weekend and week ahead, with our missionaries and friends the Brees coming today for a gathering with friends to hear of their work in Pakistan. Then Sunday, son Drew and family are coming to celebrate my birthday and their anniversary when we also join celebrating two neighbors birthdays in another neighbors gathering, it will be like a mini block party! Haleigh and Taylor will stay for a week and go with McKenna for our MPPC church day camp,

This morning we heard from my brother, Tom who works in Ethiopia, that they will be arriving for a visit with us on Monday. So the sheets are staying warm, and we’re so glad to have our family and friends around us at this time.

Yesterday McKenna, Heather’s daughter, started running a high temperature – up to 104.+ but with prayer, aspirin and cold sponges, it has come down to normal. A virus had hit Haleigh last week so we trust it will be short lived as hers was and no one else comes down with it. McKenna doesn’t enjoy being banished to her “quarantined” room today, but enjoys the room service by Grandmama.

I close by sharing a story in today’s devotional by Bishop Jerry Macklin. Bishop has become a compatriot and good friend as we have co-chaired the Barnabas Project over the last couple of years. Through this project we have developed and provided leadership support and enrichment programs for about 25 ethnic churches in the Bay Area.

“During the third century, when St. Felix of Nola was running from his enemies, he took refuge in a cave. Eventually a spider began to weave a web across the small opening, sealing it off and making it look like nobody had been inside for months. As a result his pursuers passed by and didn’t bother looking there. Later, stepping out into the sunshine, Felix declared, ‘Where God is, a spider’s web is a wall. And where He isn’t, a wall is but a spider’s web.’ Jeus said you’d have problems on earth; people will disappoint you, and you’ll disappoint yourself. Sometimes you’ll end up in a cave because of something your did, other times because of circumstances you’ve no control over. But God is with you either way. And like Paul said, ‘With God on our side…how can we lose?’

“Be at rest once more, for the Lord has been good to you!” Psalm 116.7

Smooth sailing with Trilogy

Radiation therapy with Trilogy, a form of stereotactic radiosurgery, was completed this afternoon. I’ve had lots of questions from friends about the effects, after effects, and “Don’t you have to be in the hospital for that?”. Besides being highly effective, I wanted this mode of radiation because it all happens at one setting and there are minimal side effects. The most difficult part is that you have to hold still in one position (the dreaded hands over the head routine) for an hour or two – or more. My radiation oncologist and the technicians all commented that mine was the “smoothest” procedure to date in their lab. So the preliminary x-rays and whole treatment was completed in an hour. And I did not feel anything - other than stiff arms. So thanks to you all for your prayers!! I have some pills for nausea if needed and some others which inhibit stomach acid to prevent duodenal ulcers. But this form of treatment is notably more easily tolerated than usual radiation therapy.

As we were leaving the cancer center we also had a chance meeting of Iris, one of the doctors on the faculty. Iris was a regular member of our Christian Fellowship at the Stanford Med Center several years ago, when she was a resident and fellow in radiation oncology. Just recently she was promoted to Associate Professor! So it was great to see her, celebrate her promotion and receive her prayers for my healing. Iris had known from the other doctors that I was having treatment, but we just had not crossed paths.

News about my appeal of the Health Net/Medicare denial of authorization for the Trilogy treatment is still pending. Yesterday was the Administrative Law Judge hearing for which Dr Koong and I each gave written and verbal testimony by phone to the judge who was in Irvine, CA. My thanks to our fellow Albania Health Board member, Phil (and Lois) for their help in making my testimony short and to the point! The hearing results will not be known until next week, but both of us had the impression that we made a clear presentation and made a good case for reversal of the past denials. It turns out that the cost of Trilogy is less than half the traditional radiation, which they would have paid for! So particularly in the interest of future patients with similar needs, and may not have the means to pay for this improved mode of radiation, we are praying for judicial reason and justice.

With this week behind us, we are looking forward to having several of our family members arrive for the Hensleigh and Curry family reunions coming up next week. After the 4th , we will all be gathering at Camp Curry in Yosemite Valley to remember our family heritage and bond with the current generation. What a blessing we have, especially the Christian heritage of our forefathers and mothers. Just now I recall the inscription on the grave marker of my grandmother, Ida Curry Hensleigh, “ I know that my Redeemer liveth… “ Job 19;23. As we come together at the time of our country’s Independence Day, we indeed have so many blessings, and so much we owe to those who came before us.

While we know the dire percentage of pancreatic healings, we claim John 16:33 in which Jesus says, “I have told you all these things so that in Me you may have peace; In this world you will have trouble. But take heart, I have overcome the world.” So many friends have puzzled about why God would allow such an ugly cancer to afflict a ‘good’ person like me, who has given so much time and effort to help the disadvantaged women of the world. Our friend Sheri hit the nail on the head as she recalled this word quote from Jesus, “ ..in this world you will have trouble…but I have overcome”.

How thankful we are for His peace and thankful for your supporting prayers continuing for us, as after the family reunions, in two weeks, I begin chemo therapy with Gemzar once again. The rationale is to target wandering cancer cells that so often give rise to new tumor sites which emerge weeks or months later. Thanks for specific prayers for the success of this strategy.

Stereotactic Radiosurgery (Trilogy) scheduled

Stereotactic Radiosurgery (Trilogy) scheduled Thursday, Wednesday legal hearing to see if insurance pays!

How quickly a week passes – and this was a full one. I have now scheduled the Trilogy treatment for next Thursday the 28th at 2:00 pm. In preparation for that treatment I was scheduled for a PET scan and CT on Monday, but the PET scanner was down. Tuesday I was NPO again for the scan and went through the process but the images were not adequate. So on Wednesday, I had my 3rd NPO day and finally got successfully scanned! And some people wonder why there is weight loss associated with this cancer!

Actually my weight is holding up pretty well, only 5 pounds off my regular. And I am still able to eat normal meals, just in smaller portions. And in spite of spending lots of hours in the clinic and hospital, I am keeping up with most of the regular meetings, hospital rounds, though still sleeping lots more than usual. The chemo schedule is interrupted for 4 weeks in order to have radiation without excessive side effects. And thankfully the pain intensity and frequency continues to diminish. My medical oncologist attributes the improvement to the chemo, I just know it’s an answer the prayers of many.

The final stage of appeal for the insurance to pay for my treatment is a hearing by an Administrative Law Judge in the office of Medicare Hearings and Appeals – which will take place by telephone on next Wednesday morning at 11:00. I just got the papers and instructions about that today, so I will have some homework to prepare my case and also to line up at least one of my doctors to testify as well. The issue is not how much it costs, as the cost of Trilogy is substantially less than traditional radiation. Rather it’s a loophole which says that the costs of “investigational or experimental” treatments or devices are not covered by Medicare and therefore not required coverage by insurance. So although Trilogy is an FDA approved medical device, and has been in use for a couple of years with improved results compared to standard external beam radiation, Medicare continues to consider this as experimental treatment. Ironically while this restriction is couched in terms of protecting the patient from being subject to unproven treatment, all the doctors I have consulted with agree that this is the treatment of choice for my particular situation! So possibly this is a case wherein reason can prevail through the hearing process. We are praying for God’s intervention is this because we feel that we and future patients with similar needs deserve t this treatment when it is preferred. The radiation oncologist says I just got the cancer 10 years too soon!

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Thus, my new agenda after learning of the hearing next week, is to prepare my case and line up the testimony of my doctor. Believe me this will take most of the time available as the Medicare regulations are extensive and all new to me! Thanks again for keeping us in prayer for the hearing, as well as that the radiation will be guided by God and accurate in destroying the cancer cells yet not harming any of the surrounding organs or blood vessels. Even though the radiation is “stereotactic”, the tumor is lying adjacent to the duodenum and wrapped around the superior mesenteric artery!

Good Kansas Visit

Both Bonnie and I had opportunities for 50th high school reunions this year. Mine was at the time of my cancer workup, so we had to cancel the trip for the Winchester (KS) High School alumni banquet and reunion, but we did get to attend Bonnie’s class reunion at Emporia last weekend. About 20 of the 23 surviving members, plus spouses, were there and it was a busy weekend of events and remembrances of high school days. The Lord even provided opportunity and blessing for Bonnie to visit her Frederiksen relatives, who had a recent loss of her cousin. And Sunday we attended the St Mark’s Lutheran Church where Bonnie was confirmed. Would you believe Rev Davis delivered a fitting sermon on healing!

We also spent a few nights with my brother Robb, Peg, John and Stuart who live on the farm where we all grew up. Kansas in the early summer is beautiful and green, but we did experience an awesome windstorm the first night with howling winds of 50 mph that made the plains sound like the seashore! Since I missed the Winchester reunion, a number of my classmates came by for an afternoon of visiting and sharing pictures from the recent event.

Another highlight was visiting and having lunch with my niece, Heidi, and nephew, Chris and their families – three cute kids each. Beforeefore returning to San Francisco on Monday evening, we had a chance to see my sister Joye and her husband David, who had been in Columbus, Ohio for their grand kids graduations and who had just returned a couple hours beforewe were leaving.

Returning to the land of our roots at a beautiful time of year and seeing friends of 50+ years plus lots of family members made for a great 6 day vacation. We are always struck by the wholesome authenticity of life in rural Kansas – where friends neighbors and entire communities are so supportive. And many of the houses don’t have locks on the doors even to this day! Of course at the end of 6 days it was also good to be back home in Stanford – definitely an easier place to cope when one is not quite feeling up to par!

Today I had my 4th chemo treatment. However, the denials of authorization for the radiation treatment (and appeals) go on. I’m not sure where this will end, but then there is no particular pattern for chemo/radiation treatment for this particular stage of pancreatic cancer anyway. An alternative that is becoming more likely is to pay for Trilogy out of pocket and then start a new review process to get reimbursed. My pancreas pain seems less intense and less frequent now and I’ve been able to cut back on Vicodan and get away from some of its adverse effects. So, thankfully, the last couple of days I have been feeling pretty normal most of the time.

Just to make things interesting, I had a horse accident a week ago with Jackson. He is about recovered from a broken pelvis and has had 6 months of stall rest to achieve that. The result for him is muscle atrophy, but also lots of excitement when he does get to go “outside”. The vet suggested working him in a harness to pull some weight and muscle up his legs – which went fairly well the first day, tho it was apparent that harness driving was something new for Jackson. But the second day it was gusty and a little too exciting, causing him to bolt and me to perform a “face plant” in the sand. When I woke up with a mouth full of sand, Jackson had fled back to the safety of his stall and I had lost skin off my left side of my face and scraped both little fingers. Jackson had no ill effects but a few days later I began having red strobe light flashings when I would move my head in the night. Today I saw the ophthalmologist who determined that my retina was not torn nor detached – just stretched – Whew! I’ve determined that Jackson and I are too old to take on harness driving.

Some years ago I carried the NIV version of Jeremiah 29:11 on the back of my personal business card. Today I read the paraphrase from the Message by Peterson:
This is God’s word on the subject… (God’s people in exile in Babylon) … “I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.”

In this exile of cancer treatment, I’m so thankful for God’s promises – not to mention the prayers of so many of you.

Thankful indeed!

Living by Faith

My friend Paul just reminded me of his favorite retort – “ We don’t retreat, we just reload!” I completed the second infusion of Gemzar on Tuesday and in addition to the recurrent “pancreas pain” I have noticed some fatigue. I was up at the usual 05:30 and attended rounds at SCVMC this morning, came home and did carpentry constructing a storage shed for Jackson – but then took a 3 hour nap this afternoon. Those of you who know my habits will understand that naps are not part of my usual routine.

Michelle, Bo, Grey and Kristie returned to London this week after a busy 3 week visit with us and also with our family in Kansas. Grey recovered full use of his arm and both the kids seemed to adjust quickly to life in California. It was so good to have them with us - but they were longing to see “Papa’ and I’m sure Ralf was surprised to see the changes, especially vocabulary expands daily.

What a wonderful reunion we had this week with the Kawata family who were visiting from Japan. Makoto was a visiting Ob/Gyn scholar when I was a young asst professor – both of us working on projects in the Hertzenberg’s immunogenetics lab, only 25+ years ago. They also attended and very much enjoyed Menlo Park Presbyterian Church during that era. His daughters and wife, Mitsue, have visited us on occasions over the years and we send Christmas greetings, but Makoto was returning for the first visit back to the US. It was so good to reconnect and share many good times – they brought an album of pictures of their kids and ours - who at the time were in elementary school. Makoto’s comment was that his family wanted to come here for a vacation, but he just wanted to come and see me – a great friendship renewed. He had followed my career via the internet and had lots of questions especially about my retirement career in third world obstetrics.

Thanks to our friend, Dave, Bonnie and I have been reading the devotionals of the 17th century Catholic mystic, Francois de Salignac de La Mothe Fenelon, the Archbishop of Cambrai, France – a spiritual advisor in the court of Louis the Fourteenth. This one from yesterday resonated with my day…


Living by the Cross and by Faith – Fenelon, Let Go, letter 12

We have crosses to bear everyday. But I have learned to enjoy the bitterest of them. And it is sweet to know that the heaviest cross can be borne in peace. However, there may be times when it seems that you do not have the strength even to bear it or to drag it. All you can do is fall down beneath it, overwhelmed and exhausted. I pray that God may spare you as much as possible in proportioning your suffering, not that God delights in seeing us suffer, but He knows that we need this as much as we need our daily bread. And only God knows how much we need to accomplish His purposes in our lives. So what we must do is live by faith and live by the cross. For we are confident that God, with His true compassion, proportions our trials to the amount of strength that He has committed to us within. Even though we cannot actually see this happening, yet we believe it is true. Trial and strength are portioned out in equal measures. Living by this kind of faith demands the deepest kind of death to self.

I continue to get official calls that my authorization for stereotaxic radiation (Trilogy) is being denied and again appealed – so please continue to pray for favor from HealthNet and Medicare.

We have a big weekend upcoming with a day long Saturday Mission Seminar with the Barnabas Project in the East Bay. I’ll go from that meeting in Hayward to Elk Grove and meet up with Bonnie to celebrate our two grand daughters’ birthdays with Drew, Michele and their family. Then we have two days to get chemo and prepare to depart for Bonnie’s 50th High School reunion in Emporia, Kansas Wednesday the 6th of June.

"Joy is a choice..."

A number of people ask me every day, “How are you doing?”

Side effects of the chemo, Gemzar, are minimal compared to some others, so I didn’t feel bad after the first dose. And I only have to go in for chemo once a week for an hour or so. Today I prepared an appeal letter for my insurance company who denied authorization for Trilogy radiation treatments – I’m told that “denial” is their default response at the first level in all cases and that final decisions occur at a higher level. Keep on praying for authorization!

Those of you who see me face to face can see that I’m doing quite well. I have been able to keep up with most of the usual meetings and volunteer work that has occupied my days in recent years. I have experienced some recurrence of back/abdominal/visceral pain and despite taking regular Tylenol, I wake every few hours needing to change position or take more pills. But I am able to get plenty of sleep, eat well, and enjoy every day!

Michelle’s clan will be with us for another week and later this week we will be going to Sacramento to join Drew and Michele’s kids 4-H fair experience – exhibiting goats, sheep, rabbits, etc. Reminiscent of my own childhood in Kansas.

About the pain, I’m reminded of a quote by Tim Hansel in his book, You Gotta Keep Dancin': In the Midst of Life's Hurts, You Can Choose Joy!

“Joy is a choice – pain in is inevitable, but misery is optional.
We cannot avoid pain, but we can avoid joy.
God has given us such immense freedom that He allows us to be as miserable as we want to be.”

Ready for chemo...

Ready for Chemo

Bonnie and I have loved the outpouring of prayers, cards, notes, calls, blog responses, and especially some extra time with our family during the last couple of weeks. We have been on the receiving end of hugs and good wishes which have kept us on a high plain emotionally and spiritually despite mostly bad news from my cancer work-up. In response to “How are we doing?”, one friend reminded me yesterday of the story which I have copied below…”I can sleep…”. This story was given to us when Heather died a couple of years by a friend, and it just reminds us once again that all of us need to be prepared for the “bumps in the night”.

At the conclusion of my staging, I do have some glimmer of good news: the PET scan confirms the CT and clinical impression that there is no evidence of spread of the pancreatic carcinoma beyond the central egg sized mass. Of course with this disease there is always the assumption that it will spread and so chemo is a mainstay of treatment from the get go. The plan then is to have chemo for several weeks and I expect to make the schedule today for weekly infusions of Gemzar. This will be followed by some form of radiation to the mass. My first choice for radiation for several reasons would be a stereo-taxic focused form called Trilogy – but that also is dependent on yet another authorization by my insurance company and provider (yet another something to pray for).

Meanwhile I am feeling pretty well much of the time and take Tylenol pretty regularly in order to function and sleep without pain. PET scans are a special form of torture where the subject has hold still on your back for 30 minutes with your arms above your head – an interval that seems like hours, during which you can debate whether the back pain or the shoulder pain is number one! Oh, did I mention that there is a follow-up scan to evaluate the response to treatment? The prep is 8 hours of nothing by mouth, so I begin to yearn for injectable Tylenol. And being a good guinea pig, I signed up for a research trial that involves doing two PET scans each time… all for the good of science. The big reward of my PET scan was that the tumor marker only showed up on the primary tumor.

Our daughter Michelle and her two toddlers along with Kristie the nanny are off to Kansas today to see our family and friends of Heather for a few days. Please pray for safe and convenient travel – and good reunion times for all.


I can sleep when the wind blows

Years ago, a farmer owned land along the Atlantic seacoast. He constantly
advertised for hired hands. Most people were reluctant to work on farms
along the Atlantic. They dreaded the awful storms that raged across the
Atlantic wreaking havoc on the buildings and crops. As the farmer interviewed
applicants for the job, he received a steady stream of refusals.

Finally, a short, thin man, well past middle age, approached the farmer. "Are you a
good farmhand?" the farmer asked him. "Well I can sleep when the wind
blows," answered the little man. Although puzzled by this answer, the farmer, desperate
for help, hired the man. The little man worked well around the farm, busy from
dawn to dusk, and the farmer felt satisfied with the man's work. Then one
night, the wind howled loudly in from offshore. Jumping out of bed, the farmer
grabbed a lantern and rushed next door to the hired hand's sleeping quarters. He
shook the little man and yelled, "Get up! A storm is coming! Tie things down before they blow away!!"

The little man rolled over in bed and said firmly, "No sir. I told
you, I can sleep when the wind blows." Enraged by the response, the farmer
was tempted to fire the man on the spot. Instead, he hurried outside to prepare
for the storm. To his amazement, he discovered that all of the haystacks had
been covered with tarpaulins. The cows were in the barn, the chickens were
in the coops, and the doors were barred. The shutters were tightly secured.
Everything was tied down. Nothing could blow away. The farmer then understood
what his hired hand meant, so he returned to his bed to also sleep while the wind blew.

MORAL: When you're prepared spiritually, mentally, and physically,
you have nothing to fear. Can you sleep when the wind blows through your life?

The hired hand in the story was able to sleep because he had secured the farm
against the storm. We as believers in Christ secure ourselves against the storms
of life by grounding ourselves in the Word of God. We don't need to understand. We just need to hold His hand to have peace in the midst of the storms.

I hope you sleep well!!

May you always have LOVE to share, HEALTH to spare and FRIENDS that
care

(A gift from a friend to Bonnie & Paul Hensleigh 6-20-05)

I’m golden! And Authorized….

Just a quick update to say that the GI endo biopsy and placement of gold seeds was totally uneventful. I remember nothing of the procedure, and had a good brief visit with Dr Van Dam before and after. The frozen confirmed this to be carcinoma – so there were no surprises. And I have no after effects, at least within the next 6 hours.

After meeting yesterday afternoon with my primary physician, Dr Burn, and laying out my choice of chemo/radiation, he was able to get me authorized for Stanford to do the stereotaxic radiotherapy (Trilogy). This was a quick answer to prayer as the authorization papers arrived in the mail within 24 hours!

Bonnie waited patiently for my discharge, and drove me home. I walked into the house, had a delayed b’fast and took a short nap. Only to be suddenly awakened to the alarm that our neighbor, who just came home from the Urgent Care post triple bypass last week, had collapsed getting out of the car. We were able to get him onto a mat and he revived quickly from the syncopal episode and was whisked away by paramedics for more evaluation at the hospital. Bonnie went right back to the hospital behind the ambulance to drive our neighbor’s wife to the ER. Both of our neighbor husbands across the street are recovering from cardiac bypass surgery – so you can see that we have something of an epidemic.

We are so thankful for the prayers of many – and also for the peace we have knowing that our lives are in the hands of a loving God!

Peace I leave you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. Jn 14:27

Thursday update.

Our days have been busy with consultations both at PAMF and Stanford on ways to manage my pancreas mass – all assuming it to be carcinoma. Since it is not operable, the options are forms of chemo and radiation.

We are so thankful that we could talk with so many expert physicians this week in our effort to make an informed decision regarding treatments. And all of them took time to hear our questions and get to know us a bit. Some familiar faces appeared and a number of mutual friends had prepared the way for us – so that was a special bonus.

Tomorrow, Friday morning, I am having endoscopy for biopsy and gold marker placement. The biopsy results will be returned early next week. Already I have baseline/staging PET scans and CTs scheduled for Monday and Tuesday. So it would seem that by Wednesday I would be ready to begin treatments.

Having looked at several options, my first choice is a chemo called Gemzar which is given once a week for 3 weeks. After 2 weeks rest following this I’m opting for a targeted radiation called Trilogy which is given over a few hours at one setting. Then after two weeks more Gemzar.

The approvals and authorizations are still in the hands of the provider of my insurance, so there could be some changes. Just pray that God’s hand would be on the whole process – especially the GI endoscopist tomorrow morning, and the authorization for treatments as proposed.

Grey’s arm seems to be doing well but the kids are still adjusting to the 8 hour time zone shift so our sleep patterns are weird – along with theirs! But it is good to have Michelle and the kids with us and Kristy, the nanny, is a wonderful blessing. Their London return plans are uncertain, but it seems likely they may stay for a couple of weeks more and try to see more friends and family on this trip.

Tuesday May 8th report

The Hensleigh house was somewhat bursting at the seams for the weekend and it was such a treat to have Michelle’s and Drew’s families with us. We all had a great time – with one exception: Grey, our 3 year old grandson from London took a fall from my #1 horse, Jackson, and suffered a compaction fracture of the right humerus (arm). Traumatic as this felt and as much as we felt bad for him, the sports medicine orthopedist pronounced this to be a minor injury which requires no particular treatment other than a sling for comfort and some minor pain pills! Once again we are thankful for God’s protection from larger calamity despite our careless moments.

On the medical front, Bonnie and I are seeing medical oncologists and radiation oncologists at both Palo Alto Medical Foundation and Stanford today and tomorrow. We hope to be able to choose a course of treatment with a team of providers by the end of tomorrow. And there may need to be some negotiation for authorization by our HMO provider when we have reached that conclusion. Thankfully our primary care doctor has been very supportive and clearly is our advocate in this period of discernment.

So we continue to ask for your prayers that we would make wise decisions and that our trust in God’s will for us would prevail and be apparent to all around us. On the back of my business card is a title, THE HENSLEIGH FAMILY TRUST. What follows is a version of Ps 20:7, “Some trust in chariots and some trust in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God”. Guess you can see where we get when we trust the horses!

Post Surgery- Oncologist's visit

Hello to all, May 4th, 2007

We have returned from our visit with Dr Jeff Norton at Stanford Cancer Center and have some disappointing news. Dr Norton agrees with others that the appearance of the CT is most probably pancreatic carcinoma and he also believes that it is not resectable. The tumor essentially encircles the mesenteric artery and precludes surgical management.

The standard chemo for pancreatic cancer is not very effective, and so the protocol that Dr Norton recommended is an experimental one with standard chemo for 2-3 months followed by a targeted radiation treatment known as "cyberknife" and then more chemo. In some cases the radiation shrinks the tumor to the point that it is resectable.

We are expecting a call Monday about when the interventional radiologist could do a confirmatory biopsy, place gold markers on the tumor and possibly do a celiac plexus block for pain control.

All of this requires our gatekeeper at PAMF, the primary provider, to approve, so please pray for the plans of our "expert" to be facilitated. While this is not the news we were hoping for, we know that God is in control of all parts of life - and we just continue to seek the best advice and best hands for optimal medical care.

We are expecting Michelle, Ralf, Bo and Grey to arrive from London in a few hours and will enjoy this weekend with Drew and his family as well. What a blessing that we can share some tears and lots of hugs as we continue to pray for deliverance.

And we are very thankful for your ongoing prayers as you can see we are going to have some challenging days ahead. Today we received the same Word in 4 different places so God is upholding us. Romans 15:13 says "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

We are also being blessed and guided by re-reading Al Weir’s book, “When Your Doctor Has Bad News” – we highly recommend this book for every household (Zondervan 2003). Again, thank you for your love and support.

Paul and Bonnie

Recent history of pancreas mass

Hello friends and family,

Blogging is new to me, so bear with me on this…

Many of you are up to date on my health issues, but some are not, so today I’ll try to give a brief summary and then follow with news as it develops. A blog seems impersonal, but with the hundreds of praying friends both near and around the world, as much as I love to hear from you, I simply can’t keep up with individual responses.

So here goes:

Since February I’ve been experiencing some recurrent pains. At first I thought it as a mid back strain from some shovel and wheelbarrow work, but it was atypical and sometimes more upper abdominal. After seeing my doctor a couple of times, getting some lab tests – all normal – and trying acid inhibitors for a couple of weeks, I got a CT scan April 18th that showed a 2.5 x 4.5 cm mass in the pancreas. A few days later the tumor marker, CA 19-9 was also reported elevated to 4724, normal being up to 37. Although these are the best predictors, neither of these is 100% accurate in diagnosing carcinoma, but naturally that’s the primary concern. I anticipate the next step is to get a biopsy for diagnosis and then to resect the mass if possible. On this Friday, May 4, I’ll be seeing Jeff Norton, the oncology surgeon at the Stanford Cancer Center and rely on his expertise and advice as to the strategy for diagnosis and treatment. My prayer is that he can quickly schedule me for biopsy and surgery if feasible. In reality it may take 2-3 weeks to get scheduled in the OR.

So Bonnie and I are learning about patience and endurance. Some of you have asked if we are not overwhelmed with worry. We are not. The morning after my CT, I got new inspiration from reading Psalm 23, which of course helps us focus on The Good Shepherd, our Lord Jesus Christ. Daily readings from the Bible and devotional books we buoyed us up with God’s promises.

I have regular meetings with a number of Faith groups at our church and in the community and so they have been praying with me about this from the beginning. And the network of praying friends is global – within 24 hours of asking prayer by the Elders at Menlo Park Pres, we got email from the Fistula Hospital in Ethiopia with love and prayer from the staff where I visited in February! The result is that we have been loved and prayed for by hundreds of caring friends and our family and we have been uplifted emotionally and spiritually. Not only that, but after an intense day of meetings and prayer with laying on of hands last Tuesday, I have been free of the pain that was keeping me awake at times!

Worry has not been part of this in the last two weeks. I know that my days and my work are in God’s hands and my worry is not going to add anything to either my days or my productivity! Long ago I surrendered my life to Him and this would not be a good time to take it back. This morning I read a good passage in the Message, paraphrase of II Peter 1:5-9 which reminded me of what I need to be about these days:
“So don’t lose a minute in building on what you’ve been given, continue complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, with each dimension fitting into and developing the others, With these qualities active and growing in your lives, no grass will grow under your feet, no day will pass without its reward as you mature in your experience of our Master Jesus.

We will try to update this blog when we have further information on Friday, May 4th. Thank you for continuing prayer for accurate diagnosis and treatment, the right time for biopsy/surgery, that the mass will be benign, for His perfect healing, and in all, God will be glorified.

Hello,

Just checking out if this works well for family and friends to keep up on the news from Allardice Way concerning my health. And you can know how to be praying for Bonnie and me day by day.